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A letter to Eli Manning

Discussion in 'TMFL' started by publik drunk, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,848
    Dear Eli,

    I just wanted to let you know how disappointed I am that you have not signed the retirement papers my office sent to you. We really do appreciate the 59 interceptions you have thrown the last two seasons and as a token of appreciation we are inviting you to our first annual "Firework throwing lessons " hosted by Jason Pierre Paul. I understand your value to the New York Giants ,as you lucked your way into two Super Bowls, but it is no longer practical for us to keep you on the roster. Previous ownership gave you a ridiculously, pardon my French, fucked up contract that I was hoping you would let us out of. Since I have taken over the team not only have your already limited skills diminished, but we have had 8 different equipment guys quit due to the stress of fitting helmets for your big ass forehead. I know this must be a difficult decision for you but we urge you to think of the franchise's best interest here. Hell I have seen the commercials, your brother Peyton misses you man. Why don't you go watch Direct TV and eat Papa John's with your brother on Sunday's next fall? I just don't think our fan base has it in them to go through another season of stupid ass looks on your face as you throw to the wrong team. I want to thank you in advance Eli for sending the second set of retirement papers included with this letter, back to my office before the next advance. I will be scheduling a press conference at 9pm est on Tuesday for you to share with TMFL your plan to retire and it would be great if you could attend. Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Manning.

    Sincerely,
    Your fucking owner

    P.S. If you choose not to cooperate and retire before the next TMFL advance, I will cut your big foreheaded ass and you will probably be backing up Lance Dierdorf in New Orleans and be forced to listen to Cheez shitty ass music.
     
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  2. Big Suge Knight

    Big Suge Knight Walk On

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    6,474
  3. QuietStorm

    QuietStorm TMFL Commish -- **ISYMFS** --

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2012
    Messages:
    4,019
    You should trade him to Ace847
     
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  4. Ace847

    Ace847 Walk On

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Messages:
    1,736
    Not gonna give you a negative rating but a huge thumbs down/disagree to that Black Republican

    I don't need any more pieces to beat you in the Super Bowl so I'm fine with what I got... took out you and the rest of your "elite" division last year and I look forward to giving you a rematch in the SB this year!
     
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