This poll is a determination made solely by myself (and hence much more awesome for that fact) about where each coach stands in our beloved dynasty in relation to his peers. This poll takes into account performance on the field because recruiting doesn't matter unless you win. This poll will, at various points, look at the overall record of each coach and their performance in the current season. (The reason I'm not waiting until the end of this year or even after the conference title games is because I haven't contributed hardly any content to this dynasty and it was time for me to stop slacking off) So, without further ado, welcome to the first iteration of Baron's User Poll Spoiler: Numero Uno the Big Cheese Caesar Emperor of Rome The Big Kahuna Burger is... 1. ( I Peench ) As much as this pains me (and boy, does it ever) the numbers speak for themselves: 22-3 with only one CPU loss and only one blowout loss in the Sugar Bowl to yours truly (you really didn't think I'd leave that out in this thread, did you?) And given that he's avenged that loss and, pending the conference title game, looks able to win a second straight gACC (not a typo) title to potentially compete for a natty, I am compelled to put our Dear Leader at the number one spot. Spoiler: The Silver Medalist and Number Poo I mean 2 is... 2. ( Bulldog ) Another infuriating choice for me here. But again, hard to argue with the facts. Bulldog has a 20-4 record and his only loss this year was on some bullshit, if highly entertaining (if you were on Skype while it was happening) bullshit to Michigan. I think everyone could picture the ulcer Bulldog was giving himself during said loss. But he's won out since and looks poised to, pending a monumental matchup against Oregon, compete for a national title. Also going for him is that he's not Peench. Spoiler: The Bronze Medalist is... 3. ( Danthraxxx ) Really everyone ahead of me is an infuriating choice because of my colossal ego but, again, at least this isn't Peench. And while having the admirable quality of not-Peenchness, Dan has put up some colossal numbers this season and is a measly 3 points against Jface from being undefeated. Combined with his overall record of 20-4, it really was a coin toss between him and Bulldog for the number 2 spot. But given my hatred of the CPU (I'm sure Dan will agree given his relationship with Tulsa) I have more sympathy for the auto-loss than the user loss. Strange especially given my next pick... Spoiler: The Guy Who Hates those Olympic Podiums the most is... 4. ( Mike E ) ...gets the most credit and the #4 spot for his losses coming mostly against big-time users. He is the Bob Stoops of our PFP Dynasty. He's gotta find a way to win the big one before he can vault those guys ahead of him. But that said, 21-5 is definitely not something to sneeze at. Also not to be sneezed at is that he is not Peench. To be sneezed at is that he is in the gACC. Spoiler: Still on just one hand for this so ya know that's something is... 5. ( DerekC ) Is another user who is having trouble against his peers. He's been romping through the computer but has yet to win the big one. 8-3 this season, with all three coming to users, and a solid win over Dear Leader that, God willing, will keep UNC from the NC game, so hardly a worthless season for Derek. Add in a 19-5 overall record and clearly DerekC just needs to crack that glass ceiling to get up into the top tier. Spoiler: Six sounds like sex so that's a good rank (oh god I'm so alone) is... 6. ( JFace907 ) JFace is kinda the wildcard in the group. He can get solid wins and seemingly go on a run with his potent offense and good play style. But then he'll lose some head scratchers. (Stanford, really?) Going for him is his 19-6 record overall and when you factor in HALF of those losses come to mighty Utah, we can't be too hard on him, now can we? Spoiler: Seven! Seventh Heaven which had Jessica Biel (yep still lonely) is... 7. ( Ghost ) Let's be honest: We all hate the FNGs. But when that FNG is undefeated since entering the dynasty it's obvious he's a cheesing bastard not going to be that low on our poll. Especially given the quality of users that he's beat since arriving. Key for Ghost will to bounce back next year after he loses a wealth of talent. Spoiler: Eight... I got nothing for this one. Am I supposed to amuse you on command? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! is... Whoops, sorry it's actually... 8. ( sawemoff ) Another user that, when he's good, can be Kate Upton but when he's bad, can be that meth-addict your brother swears is hot but no one else sees it for Christs-sake. However, his losses this year are all either to users (Bucs, Bulldog, myself) or the scourge of the PAC-12, Cal. That and you just get the feeling with the recruiting he's doing, he'll be able to get off the meth and become the glorious pornstar coach we all know he can. Spoiler: Nine is... Look pal I'm not here just for your amusement. Am I supposed to be funny like a clown? Is that it? is... God damn it I keep mixing these up. Your demands for humor in the spoilers are too much! 9. ( Baron ) Much like Tommy above, let's just say I've taken a tumble from last year's lofty heights. Part of it due to circumstance (three sim losses blow donkey dick) and part of it due to you fuddruckers figuring out my predictable play style. Still, might have been able to salvage Utah's season and perhaps with a bowl win, I can keep from losing a prestige star. Spoiler: Ten. Okay I got nothing here's Kate Upton sucking a popsicle is... Happy? Fuckers. 10. ( Bucs ) ... What? I'm supposed to type out a user poll comment with THAT above me? Your expectations are WAY too high! Much like the expectations for senior Bucs down at Miami. Ouch, sorry dude but it was perfect. 6-4 kinda sucks but 17-6 overall means that you've got potential, unlike me ever being able to ignore Kate Upton in a bikini. Spoiler: Eleven Great now I'm a clown or a pimp to you lecherous cretins is... Nothing! Ha! Suck on disappointment ya bastards! 11. ( MartyWebb ) Disappointment is definitely something that Marty has had to suck on recently. 6-5 this year and 15-9 overall does not a great poll position make. Needs to stop doing the sort of unspeakable things that we'd all do to Miss Upton to his wide receivers and other players. That said, decent recruiting classes and his Air Raid could become a huge threat later on. Don't believe me, ask Bulldog. Spoiler: Twelve you've finally broken me I've got nothing left I can't even be insulting any more are you happy now? is... 12. ( RedZoneD25 ) Tough to judge a man on only three games, but I am nothing if not prejudicially judgmental towards outsiders. And while not a real outsider in the truest sense, Redzone has yet to do anything impressive. You almost feel bad for him: unable to get to play with Clemson's great roster of last year and most of this year. But if he recruits well, no reason he can't rise above from Peench's rightful place. Hope you all enjoyed Baron's user poll! If you didn't, blow me.