Breaking News!!!!OC & DC Sacked in Philly

Discussion in 'Hard Knocks' started by SteamboatReb, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. SteamboatReb

    SteamboatReb Walk On

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    Following an embarrassing loss to hated division rival, the Giants, Coach Reb is feeling the pressure to the extent that he has taken the extreme measures of firing both his OC and DC just one week into the new season Coach Reb stated, ''It is still my intent to install the offense that is used in New Engalnd, but it has become clear that we are missing more than a couple of pieces needed to be effective. I think it is quite clear that Schaub is no Brady, Celek is no Gronk, and there is not another Mexican TE on the planet like Hernandez.''

    Similarly, the Eagles will revert to their attacking 4-3 and end the hybrid multiple front experiment ''until a few key players are acquired.'' The Eagles struggled mightily to pick up a Gronk-type TE, and it is rumored they offered every pick acquired from the Browns in this year's draft for the man himself.

    The Eagles will build through the draft and may be interested in moving some young talent in the meantime. For example, rookie WRs Chappelle and Profit, in addition to being return guys, come in at 78 and 79 OVR respectively as Speed WRs typically used in vertical threat offenses. However, in the new system being installed in Philly, they rate 71 and 69.

    When asked what the new offensive scheme will be, Coach Reb said only that the Eagles are ''planning on simplifying things and making the most of the talent we have.'' It is widely rumored that Matt Schaub may soon be back on the market.
     
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  2. fordtuff504

    fordtuff504 Walk On

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    lol, mexican te, goodluck on gettin your offense and defense off the ground reb
     
  3. SteamboatReb

    SteamboatReb Walk On

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    controllerabuser is totally being racist in his unwillingness to deal Hernandez to me.
     
  4. fordtuff504

    fordtuff504 Walk On

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    u may get in trouble due to affirmative action reqirements
     
  5. SteamboatReb

    SteamboatReb Walk On

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    About to be some affirmative action allright when I affirmatively break a foot off in KnightNoles ass in Week 2
     
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  6. KnightNoles

    KnightNoles Learn to Compete

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    I will consider retirement.

    :\
     
  7. controllerabuser

    controllerabuser Purple People Eaters

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    BTW, Aaron Hernandez is Italian and Puerto Rican. Meaning, he is not Mexican.

    Lmao it's not the same!
     
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  8. SteamboatReb

    SteamboatReb Walk On

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    See...even you knew what I meant...lol
     
  9. pitt4life21

    pitt4life21 RTJR!

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    Lol see why schaub never made it that well in Houston yet? :)
     
  10. SteamboatReb

    SteamboatReb Walk On

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    I can coach him up Pitt....I can coach him up....we just have to focus on his limitations....I could have my fantasy offensive lineup and be limited because of this douche....Reb's HK Fantasy Lineup....I would mix West Coast with the Vertical Offense for starters and stretch both the x and y axes, and then comes the next dimension. I would also add some depth/dimension on the Y axis (i.e, nothing but bad mofos who can do anything....run, catch, party, bang hot chicks, etc.). The Y axis is the Gronk Factor. This is the Gronknicity rating that you can get as an add-on to Madden 13 if you know the right people. The players with the Gronk ratings, on a scale of 1-100, are:

    1) Gronk Himself (115 GRK)
    2) Vernon Davis (98 GRK)
    3) Jimmy Graham (94 GRK)
    4) Aaron Hernandez (90 GRK)
    5) Jermichael Finley (78 GRK)

    These are the only players who have even registered on the Gronk scale as of this date.

    And, the dream offense does not have traditional position names. It would look and sound something like this:

    1. The first position would be a traditional QB. Need at least 2 or 3 of equal ability and interchangeable. They will be the expendable part of the offense and will end up costing less because they want to play in the most baller, dynamic offense ever created. Thought the list is not exhaustive, there are a few prequistes: 1) Good abs and tan; 2) at least 6'4''ish; 3) Party star; 4) Fucking cannon for an arm and accurate; 5) Throw right-handed; 6) Can be described generally as a baller. Probably will name the position The Expediter or The Distributor.

    2. In the backfield, Hernandez and Davis. I would play them as split backs in the West Coast fashion. Interchangeable. Might motion out and burn your ass deep, might take a handoff, and Davis, more than Hernandez, might blow your ass up if you are a LB or DE as a blocker from the backfield.

    3. As your X, Y and Z spots, Graham and Finley. Only need two of these guys to account for these three positions, because at least three defenders will have to deal with them.

    4. Gronk. He is the wild card. He will tell the traditional QB guy where he will be on any given play, nit vice versa. Fucker will deal with it or get sent off the field until he gets it. Basically, dude calls the play and Gronk decides where he fits in or just where he feels like being for that play. He wants Hernandez's spot...fuck you Hernandez, split your ass out with Graham. You get it.

    You can go 5 wide, Full House, Flex Bone.....shit don't matter. The offense is limitless and there are no coaches out there now who have the imagination to design this offense. They are agile and quick and stretch you horizontally, they can get behind you like deep threat WRs and stretch you vertically, and they are biggest, best, flashiest athletes on the field for whom you have too few defenders to match up, and that is depth/dimension, Y axis element. I don't even know what you call this offense to adequately describe it. Interstellar Mind Fuck is all that comes to mind.
     

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