Coach HAL Leaves For Florida Citing a desire for redneck fans and players with long criminal histories, Coach HAL held a press conference today to announce that he will be leaving The Ohio State Buckeyes for the Florida Gators. When asked to expand upon his reasoning for this puzzling move, Coach HAL had just one thing to say. "Those Florida kids are fast", he said, and "Do I need any more reason than that?" He ended the press conference on an odd note though by stating that part of his contract with Florida includes eliminating the Gator Chomp hand clap thing. When asked about this decision, he said "their fans are bad enough as they are. We don't really need them making themselves look more retarded."