Breaking News out of Washington

Discussion in 'Thread Archive' started by Coach KO, Oct 7, 2010.

  1. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    Breaking News out of Washington

    The Nations capital has just announced that the bid by the ownership team led by Coach KO as been accepted for the Washington Redskins effective immediately.

    Coach KO had a brief statement sent out by his press department.

    "Well, we are certainly excited about the opportunity to run such a classy organization. We know we will face some stiff competition but seriously, Philadelphia and their fans are basically the lowlifes of society. I mean sure, they had a movie about them about a special teams player. Well isnt that exciting? But what exactly have they done?

    As for the Cowboys? I mean its Dallas. You know what they say about Dallas. Only steers and queers and I didnt see any horns on those boys.

    and NewYork I just dont even care for as a city. They have two teams so they can root for whoever is the front runner"

    That was the end of the statement. Needless to say, should be a interesting ride in Washington.
    Chief Wannasmokesome, Reporter
     
  2. Winuvas

    Winuvas OMFL Jets

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    THAT'S what I'm talking about. Kick the tires and light the fires in DC, baby.
     
  3. CoachWest

    CoachWest Walk On

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    I see folks cheering on the Redskin opponets this season lol
     
  4. BadaBing319

    BadaBing319 OMFL Broncos / PMFL Eagles

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    Go Skins! Welcome aboard KO...
     
  5. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    Coach KO has released another statement this morning and it appears a bloodbath is in the making. "Apparently, the previous ownership believed in stockpiling crappy middle linebackers. I guess the mantra more is better was a better Idea. Perhaps this team was drilled with injuries but some of these guys have so little awareness, they may actually piss on themselves."
     
  6. bamagrad

    bamagrad Back to Back British Amateur Champion

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    Good one KO, I was the previous management and those LB's are kick-ass, Fletcher and Orakapo are Beasts on the Field. :) I certainly hope u get the Skins Turned around, More Power to u. I'll be Watching. and the only injuries i took was on the front line Haynesworth went out twice with injuries. :(
     
  7. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    No disrespect intended. I was only trying to be funny. I was looking at the roster and I saw something like 7 Middle Linebackers. I agree that Fletcher and Orakapo are beasts.
     
  8. bamagrad

    bamagrad Back to Back British Amateur Champion

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    I know it was funny that's how i took it. We're Good. :)
     
  9. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    Chief Wahoo of Tribal News Gazette Report out of DC is that Coach KO is fed up with the teams play and nearly attacked the teams private ownership. At one point, Samuel L. Jackson, fresh off the set of the Pulp Fiction 2, was called in as lead Negotiator to talk Coach KO out of shooting everyone in the room. Amazingly no charges were brought against Coach KO.

    In his public statement "Im not surprised they didnt press charges. Im mean seriously, look at our offense. We havent attacked anyone all year."

    The ownership of the Redskins however did release another statement that apparently may lead to more changes. "Obviously, the stability of the teams management is crucial to the success of the organization. We are not sure Coach KO is that guy for the job. Only time will tell."

    In a counter statement Coach KO had the following shot "Heck, the brought these crappy players in. Have you seen this line? How would our offense do anything. Im surprised Donovan hasn't gone on strike. The line is terrible. The Wide Receivers they signed have got the hands of a T-Rex. The only thing going for this team is the defense and the fact that these cheerleaders apparently love stripper poles. I think I'm leaving DC after the season. Actually, I am leaving DC after the season. YOU CAN PRINT THAT....."

    Should be an interesting end to the season to say the least.....
     
  10. weblink21

    weblink21 Walk On

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    Wow, things aren't looking good in DC
     
  11. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    Coach KO Cracks open cold ones after learning team no longer has shot at playoffs.

    With the team eliminated from postseason consideration, Coach KO was seen at the local strip club making it rain as they like to say. "You kiddin me son? It looks like I'll have a few more weeks here to hang out with my girlfriends here. Heck, I pay those pussy's on my team more than these girls and these girls put out way more on the field if you know what I mean!!"
     
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  12. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    [​IMG]

    Coach KO has apparently released a statement refuting allegations that he will be leaving the DC area after the season.

    "Listen. I know you reporters all have a job to do. Just like coachroaches, you guys scuttle around looking for morsels to eat. Now, I have a contract and I fully intend on honoring that contract. Besides, I have my own private room at the strip club and I can't imagine a better thing for me at this time."

    It was also reported that Coach KO was seen sitting with a popcorn bucket on his crouch. The report went on to say that there was a rather large hole cut out of the bottom of it and Kate Beckinsale was loving every minute of it.......
     
  13. Coach KO

    Coach KO Walk On

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    Chief Wahoo reporting- Dont look now, and judging by attendance you haven't, the Redskins actually won a game. McNabb actually looked like a bonafide quarterback and instead of a Bona......

    "Obviously, its nice to be at home and get a win. With the exception of the Eagles game, we have played competitively, we just can't seem to get over the hump. We did what we needed to do over Tampa and we are looking forward to putting the final nail in the coffin for the Cowboys. In addition to the Boys, we have some tough games ahead with the Jags and Giants. Maybe we can screw up the playoff picture if we can play well in these final games."

    Coach KO once again refuted any and all rumors he is headed to Foxborough after the season. He did say he believes the Krafts represent a "Class Organization" and he is flattered by the rumors but he is focused on leading the Skins.
     

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