Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose: Panthers Football!

Discussion in 'Thread Archive' started by whygodwhy1111, Jul 24, 2010.

  1. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose: Panthers Football!

    Be ready for the Golden Panthers, or "Get Got!"

    Florida Internation is HERE!
     
  2. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU 24
    FSU 9


    Tonight Darrian "Pocket Rocket" Mallary proved there is more than one football program in Miami. The Panthers didn't move the ball consistently, but sometimes it only take one great play. Down 9 to 3 in the second, with his offense stalling, "Pocket Rocket" took the option read, and showed us the other reason everyone thinks he has a Rocket in his pants. 81 yards later the FSU defense didn't find Mallarys nick name quite as humorous.

    The Panthers hung on by tooth and nail forcing FSU into turn the ball over on downs late in the 4th quarter with a one score lead. The "Pocket Rocket" struck again to the tune of 31 yards and his second touchdown of the day. Mallary ended the day with 141 yards on 12 carries.

    QB Wesley Carroll was reached for comment after the game:
    "I just go out there and do my job, I saw the defensive end step back so I handed the ball off and Darrian did the rest. As to his nickname, I think he gave it to himself so he could ask girls if they wanted to meet the Pocket Rocket. I get the feeling after today they actually might."
     
  3. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU 28
    OHIO 17

    A truly abysmal day for QB Wesley Carrol. Carrol pitch the ball to the defense on both of the teams first 2 drives. The Carrol and the panthers offense struggled to move the ball through the air and once again were bailed out by the electric play of Darrian "Pocket Rocket" Mallary to carry them to victory. Mallary racked up 3 touchdowns, and 165 yards on 18 carries. Including the game clinching Touchdown in the 4th quarter.

    After the game Coach WhyGod was reached for comment:

    "Carrol just didn't come out ready to play, he made bad reads, some terrible pitches, and on multiple occasions he throw the balls 20 feet past open WRs. We're going to have his head examined thoroughly, hopefully we can fix whatever is wrong with him before we play Maryland next Saturday. Mallary Played great again. He is a dangerous man on the football field, especially against teams like Ohio. You give Darrian a little room and he will take 20 yards. Our defense gave up some big plays but forcing 5 turnovers really kept us in the game after Carrols mistakes."
     
  4. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU 35
    Maryland 17

    Lead by another stellar performance from "Pocket Rocket" Mallary, the Panthers shredded the Terp's defense on the ground. After breaking a 60 yard run, to the jeers of thousands, The Pocket Rocket broke into what he later called "The Turtle Dance." Mallary dance around defenders the rest of the game amassing 144 yards, and 2 Touchdowns on just 12 carries. Some might say the spread offense caters to fast backs with very little to no actually running ability, but don't tell Darian Mallary that.

    After last weeks disappointing performance, Wesley Carroll came back out and proved he belongs as the starter. He managing the game beautifully, all be it with less offensive responsibility than he was given in previous week. The real concern on the sidelines is the state of Carroll's mental health, several sources close to the team have mentioned that he has been amounting a dangerous quantity of concussions across his career and in the first stages of this season. After the game Carroll seemed to be a bit loopy, when asked about his down graded throwing responsibilities, Carroll slurd, "I like turtles" and walked away. We have yet to determine if he was joking or mentally impaired by the beating he took on the field.
     
  5. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU Golden Panthers 36
    Pittsburg Panthers 15

    Today, Gold Panthers proved to be better than regular Panthers. Of all the Panthers on the field, one Panther proved himself the best: Anthony Gaitor. Gaitor intercepted not one, not two, but three passes. Two of which were he caught in the his own endzone, and two of which he carried to the other teams endzone. 3 picks, 2 Touchdowns, and 142 interception return yards for senor corner Anthony Gaitor.

    The FIU force 6 turnovers on the day. An extremely effective day for the Panthers defense.

    There was one shadow cast upon the game for the Golden panthers, and that was the play of QB Wesley Carrol. It seems pretty clear to anyone following the team or to have meet Carroll in person that Carroll is suffering symptons of repeated concussions. Rather than give Carrol some rest the coaching staff gave Carrol a new helmet and made him where a neck restricter. Carroll went out against the bigger and faster Pittsburg defense and proceeded to get pounded for 3 and a half quarters. Frequently Carroll would read the defense to keep the ball and get crushed by the unblocked 300 lbs Pitt Defensive Tackles. Carroll acquired negative 4 yards on 16 carries with 2 fumbles, while only connecting on 6 of his 13 passes for 120 yards one jump ball TD and one interception.

    The media waited around to speak with Carroll after the game, but Carroll never returned from the showers. The team doctor, John Smithy, later said that Carroll got dizzy in the shower and decided to take a 4 hour nap, that he seems fine now, and that he will be able to start next week. We were unable to find any record john Smithy prior to 2008 and his medical degree was obtained online from an unaccredited Nigerian University. When asked about the team Doctor's shady credentials and history, the FIU athletic Director Frank Tetalton assured us that Smithy may be the best doctor in the country, and added that Smithy had personally cured his failing liver by merely applying ointment and and eye drops. The only problem Tetalton has with Smithy, is that the eye drops make his eyes yellow, and the ointment makes his skin appear orange, but its a small price to pay for having a healthy liver.
     
  6. EnvyZero

    EnvyZero Walk On

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    Sounds like you have yourselves a quality team doctor there at FIU
     
  7. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    He keeps them on the field.
     
  8. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    HillToppers Topped by Golden Panthers


    Golden Panther 37
    HillToppers 7



    Hilton Inhospitable to Visiting Western Kentucky

    Ty Hilton crushed the spirits of the visiting hilltoppers with 2 first half punt return TDs. Hilton ended the day with an astounding 198 punt return yards. FIU also had a hefty contribution from troubled QB Wesley Carroll. Carroll managed a period of lucidity amassing 127 yards and 2 TDs on 10 carries, including a 72 yard TD run. After the touchdown run, Carroll was taken out of the game after an altercation with teammate and star RB Darrian "Pocket Rocket" Mallary left Carroll unconscious on the sidelines for 6 minutes. After rousing Carroll, the team Doctor (John Smithy) cleared Carroll to re-enter the game, but with a big lead coach WhyGod decided one concussion was enough for Carroll this saturday. Mallary sat the rest of the game for disciplinary reasons.

    Mallary made a statement to the press after the game:
    Coach WhyGod was reached for comment about possible disciplinary actions for Mallary following his physical assault of the starting QB and for his comments after the game:
     
  9. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Somber Victory for G-Panthers

    FIU 35
    North Texas 0

    Pre-Madonna Mallary Strains Back in Defensive Victory

    FIU offense only gains 206 yards and wins 35-0. Hilton returned the opening kickoff for a Touchdown and the defense ran back two interceptions to provide the Panthers with the spark they needed to win.

    There was yet again more sideline antics from the Panthers. In the first quarter, after Carroll pitched the ball to mallary for a 4 yard loss, mallary walked off the field and refused to return. Mallary was seen on the sidelines for the rest of the game laughing with the other defensive players as Carroll and the offense failed to move the ball down the field.

    During the forth quarter, at the coaches insistence, Mallary went to the locker room to get X-rays for the pain he said was too great to reenter the game. Mallary stop on his way to the locker room to speak with our sideline reporter:

    Coach WhyGod spewed a stream of obscenities when he was told Mallary would be taking an 8 week break for a "Strained Back." He refused to comment after.

    On the positive side, It appeared the Wesley Carroll managed to go an entire game without a concussion though he did shower with his helmet on and then rip his undershirt pulling it over his face mask.
     
  10. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Pending NCAA alegations against FIU

    Is Wesley Carroll Academically eligable?

    The NCAA has launched an investigation into the academic Eligibility of Starting QB Wesley Carroll. Carrolls Course load is the required 12 credits, but an inside source from the FIU football program has leaked that Carroll may be receiving preferential treatment from the faculty and some of his course work should not be accredited.

    Carroll's schedule consists of 2 physical education course( Ball Throwing 101 and Advanced Push-Ups 401 ), a course titled Football Basics, and Advanced Special Needs Training. The first 3 of the mentioned courses have Carroll as the only enrolled student. To avoid scandal the bed ridden and delerious Athletic Director, Frank Tetalton, invited the press to interview Carroll's instructors.

    Ball throwing consists of Carroll throwing different types of balls in an empty field. Advanced Push-Ups, is essentially Carroll doing push-ups, he is graded on how long he does push-ups, 40 minutes being a 4.0. We had a chance to see the mid Term from Football Basics, It was a twelve question multiple choice. It included questions such as How many points is a touchdown worth. With the possible answers being 6, 100 , 1000. or 8 million points. Additionally the answer key to the questions was 'W','E','S','L','E','Y','C','A','R','R','O','L'. When asked about the simplicity of the exam the instructor replied, "I could not have been too hard since Carrol only got 8 of the 12 questions correct."

    We sat down with Carroll's Advanced Special needs instructor.
    While the NCAA reviews this case, the other question is who inside the Program reported Carroll to the NCAA. Since he calls all the local media outlets daily anyway, we decided to sit down with "injured" Star HB, Darrian "Pocket Rocket" Mallary. When asked who might have leaked the information Darrian was silent for a few seconds while mischievously smiling into the camera. After which he mentioned that his "Strained Back" would probably be feeling alot better if Carroll was kicked off the team. There has been a very heated feud this season between the Golden Panthers starting Quarter Back and Half Back.
     
  11. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Panthers Win, Carroll Hurt

    FIU 42
    FAU 21



    Late Hit Hospitalizes QB Wesley Carroll

    Late in the second quarter, on 3rd down, QB Wesley Carroll dropped back and completed a 20 yard pass over the middle. After releasing the ball Carroll was laid out by DE Jamere Johnson of Florida Atlantic. To the casual eye, the hit did not appear to be any different from the multitude of bone crushing body slams Carroll has received while leading the panthers to a thus far undefeated season. Carroll seemed to shake off the hit and tried to hurry his offense to the line. Carroll lined up behind center, tried to start his cadence, but instead violently coughed blood across his centers back and into the face mask of the Florida Atlantic nose tackle. Carroll managed to take the snap and drop back 2 steps before collapsing.

    While the referees and defensive players were in a panic, the FIU offense, who have been desensitized to Carrolls on field struggles with consciousness, remained calm and motioned the team doctor to come from the sidelines. Team doctor John Smithy approached the sideline took one look at the situation and took off for the FIU locker room, later saying that he had forgotten his stethoscope and thought he could get back in time to help. The FAU Trainer eventually came out to provide assistance and called the ambulance which took Carroll to the Fort Lauderdale ER. After the play had resumed, John Smithy returned from the locker room. It is unknown if Smithy ever located his missing Stethoscope.

    Carroll has reportedly suffered 4 broken ribs, and a punctured lung which required surgery to repair.

    Carrolls surgeon came out to address the press after the surgery:
    In the Post Opp ward, Carroll could be heard begging coach WhyGod to let him "Play the foosball" next week. When asked if Carroll will play again coach WhyGod replied, "We are going to take it a day at a time with Carroll, if he wants to play and Doc Smithy clears him, then we will revisit the issue."

    After the game RB Darrian "Pocket Rocket" Mallary was asked why he didn't enter the game since he had previously stated he would not return until Carroll was off the field:

    The Panthers went on to win 42-21 thanks to some quality play from backup QB Jake Medlock, and 6 defensive INTs.
     
  12. shibdib

    shibdib In Nacho We Trust

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  13. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU 45
    UL Monroe 7


    No Carroll, No Problem

    With Carroll in the hospital, True Freshman Jake Medlock led the panthers to victory with precise handoffs and pitches. In route to the 38 pt Victory over UL Monroe, Medlock handed the ball off for an amazing 361 yards from back up tailbacks Darriet Perry and Kedrick Rhodes.

    During Midway through the first quarter Carroll who had escaped from the hospital, stumbled onto the field with half his gear on and attempted to take a snap behind the opposing teams center. He was escorted from the field and returned to the local hospital. This was Carrolls 10th escape attempt in the last week. Fearing that the constant activity will permanently damage Carroll's recover efforts, and with consent of his family, Miami General Hospital has put Carroll into a medically induced Coma until his injuries have healed.
     
  14. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU 52
    Troy 0


    Darriet Perry, "Full Sized Rocket"

    With Darrian "Pocket Rocket" Mallary on the sidelines, Darriet Perry Shows why he thinks he should have been starting all year. Perry ran for 123 yards and 2 TDs on 11 carries, and caught 3 passes for 126 yards and 1 TD. Though for the record, Perry points out that those were option pitches that Freshman QB Jake Medlock intentionally threw forward to pad his passing totals.

    Perry was reached for comment:

     

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