Dat U's dilemma.

Discussion in 'Thread Archive' started by Roadhouse, Oct 24, 2010.

  1. Roadhouse

    Roadhouse Walk On

    Apr 14, 2010
    There's a very strange feeling in Oxford these days, that has the football coaching staff scrambling for answers. It's not like the previous NCAA shakedowns where records had to be shredded, credit card bills had to be altered, and alibis had to be bought. All of that is a well rehearsed retreat.

    Miami U accepted a transfer request from someone that's fast. Very fast. Now what? When reached for comment, Head Coach Roadhouse twice denied sending the incoming recruits to the Trapeze Club. His personal assistant then whispered the actual question in his ear, and everything changed. "Oh mercy, I have no idea how we're going to use this fine, fine young man. We brought him in to the video room to review last year's offense, well after all the seats had been sterilized for our protection, and it's obvious we'll have to change our approach."

    Traditionaly, we here at Dat U like to run a hybrid offense, that disappoints across many spectrums. Our ground game is unique in its attack, because we focus on small, very small gains, and we stop ourselves by running into people on our own team. It seems our new Redhawk is experienced in a progressive scheme called contact avoidence, where he actually tried to minimize physical contact - especially with his own team - to prevent him being tackled."

    "Not only that, but this young man has given us some unbelieve ideas in passing. Apparantly, and we can't confirm this because we're still looking for the video, he's able to run behind the defense and expects the QB to throw him the ball. Again, he was going on and on about not getting caught, but I thought that he meant the police. Its how we bonded. But then I realized he meant be defenders! Whoa!"

    When pressed further, Coach acknowledged other teams using a similar approach to the Redhawk defense. However, it never dawned on the Red and White to try that. "The NCAA is a copycat league, and just because all of the other school are scoring points and winning games, we wanted a unique kind of emphaisis on our program. Look at our passing game. While other teams passed early to get the lead, and then would take a knee to open up the third quarter, we did the opposite. We waited until that second string defense was in the game, and then attacked. Always attack the weak point!"

    His assistant and her friend urged the coach to stop talking and make his way towards the waiting Escalade. Apparently there was a previously scheduled appointment with the assitant's tailor, to correct her uniform miscalulation, because there wasn't a lot left to the imagination with the new spirit squad wardrobe.
  2. LambeauLeap04

    LambeauLeap04 Walk On

    Jul 6, 2010
    LOL, good stuff
  3. onaradio34

    onaradio34 Tryin not to show how little I know bout anything

    Sep 24, 2009
    Definitely. The more I hear about Dat U, the more I want to take a pay cut and join Roady's staff. Anything from offensive coordinator to spirit squad fluffer will do.
  4. soxandgators

    soxandgators The Gator Nation

    Jul 16, 2010
    how can you not read his work and at least smile a little

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