Happy Hour TMFL 2017 preseason edition

Discussion in 'TMFL' started by publik drunk, Aug 1, 2016.

  1. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

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    Who doesn't like a great happy hour. A chance to get pregnant ( was going for pre drunk but spell check happened. Decided to leave it) on discounted drinks while the rest of our functioning society spends the evening with their families. I believe in over achievement which is why I feel if your going to happy hour stay for closing time as well. So I'm bring happy hour to TMFL with discounted picks for my high price expert analysis. So call your bookie and get your future's in because the hen is laying a golden egg.


    AFC East

    Interesting division here with some familiar faces to alot of us. Each of these owners took over teams after the beginning of last cycle and have chosen to come back to us for 2017. So let's jump into our 2017 projections:

    Dolphins 11-5 xSavedByGracex
    I think this is the year the Dolphins break the Patriots stranglehold on the division and win the division title. Honestly I'm too drunk to remember any of their players other than Tannenehill and Suhr but my tuna sandwich from lunch, along with Brady's suspension influenced me here.

    Patriots 10-6 Cole Copeland
    Now this guy looks like a bandwagon fan from the early 2000's. Started the day as a Colt and just eased his way into a Patriots jersey...

    Jets 8-8 Nockturn315
    Just don't think Fitzpatrick is going to be enough that first season. Can't wait for you to draft a qb that will spend 50% of his time on IRL

    Bills 6-10 Danthraxxx
    In my experience alcohol leads to unprotected sex and drama and the reason I'm predicting this record?? Is if it happens we might get some of the latter .

    Going deep into my crystal ball I love the balance of this division. All 4 have shown the ability in the past to put together winning seasons and I think we are gonna get a good mix of division Champs here.

    AFC North

    This is a Vet loaded division. Though I have never had the privilege of playing with Bondzai, have heard lots of good things and would like to welcome him aboard. I know a couple of you can keep them drinks discounted all night with that senior citizens discount so I'm drinking with these guys.

    Pittsburgh Steelers 9-7 Big Suge Knight

    Bell's pending suspension is gonna be rough but I still like the Steelers taking the division. Suge gonna be on those sticks while he teaches his young prodigy to kick some ass in madden.

    Baltimore Ravens 9-7 bawvu97

    Our Mr Creepy is out to prove this year that he means business. Going home to Baltimore with some familiar friends is going to turn his game around and I expect him to compete for the playoffs.

    Cleveland Browns 8-8 JFace907

    Damnit J.... You leave Cleveland last cycle have some great success, and then take your ass right back? Buddy I like you that's why I'm taking your keys and calling you a cab.

    Cincinnati Bengals 4-12 Bondzai

    I'm hoping you prove me wrong year 1 and take these old timers out but I know that madden rust can be real. Luckily you have a good group in your division to help you get your game back but the bad news.... these cheap asses won't be picking up any bar tabs.

    As I look into my crystal ball in this division I see some pure chaos. I did hear from an inside source today though that J.J. has all the say in this division ( too soon?) so once he cashes in on all those draft picks I expect the Browns to be the front runners.

    AFC South

    What a mix we have here. Brian gets his squad.... finally, Nelly doesn't..., Ptsbx gets away from that evil asshole Black Republican, and Craig gets one of the youngest and ready to explode rosters in the league. Here is my thoughts on the 2017 season.

    Jaguars 13-3 Craig

    Only thing scarier than Craig with all these young stud rookies is Craig with all these stud rookies and having the 4-6 be a legal base defense.

    Colts 11-5 nellycuz

    Nelly is gonna see some new scenery for the first time in a few cycles and I expect Andrew Luck and Hilton to set the league on fire fueled by Nelly's rage.

    Texans 9-7 Hurricane GL

    You finally get your squad and then you get put in a division with 3 heavy hitters. Gonna be a true test to see how well the Texans do in this division but who knows, maybe Osweiler turns into Garopollo 2.0 I mean they both have fucking crazy last names.

    Titans 7-9 ptsbx1

    Well you finally got away from BR.... now meet Craig . Team just isn't quite there yet but I fully expect them to be there by the end of the cycle.

    Looking into my crystal ball I'm going out on a limb and saying one of these users won't be in the division maybe the league by season 2. This division is loaded and if it holds together I definitely see them trading some blows but mostly competing for 2nd place behind that rising Jaguars team.

    AFC West

    Exit BBJ and in comes kcstlmang. The other three in the division are all familiar with each other but will they all be competing for second place to that strong Bronco defense?

    Denver Broncos 12-4 kcstlmang

    This defense is insane and we have already seen STL turn Ryan Mallet into a super star 2 cycles ago so I think he will be ok with Lynch.

    Oakland Raiders 10-6 Raidernation

    Young roster with some studs on both sides of the ball. User has shown some flashes, is this the year we see that consistency?

    San Diego Chargers 9-7 Ace847

    Ace has been unseasonably quiet lately.... Does he have a secret copy of 2017 and is working out the kinks already getting that headscarf?

    Kansas city Chiefs 6-10 whoozy11

    I'm sure he will get this team headed in the right direction but it's just not going to happen with Alex Smith.

    Everyone in this division has shown flashes of brilliance in the past but I feel the one who has been the most consistent also has the best squad. It's going to be the Broncos world at first let's see if the others can close the gap
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
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  2. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

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    AFC Wild Card

    New England Patriots at Miami Dolphins

    The Dolphins might have won the division but Brady is back and this is January. I have the Patriots advancing after a strong game from Gronk.

    Indianapolis Colts at Pittsburgh Steelers

    nellycuz has played many playoff games in Pittsburgh during his tmfl career, but this time it will be with a new team. I'm going with home field and Pittsburgh's explosive offense in this one.


    AFC Divisional

    New England Patriots at Jacksonville Jaguars

    The Patriots stay in Florida this week as they meet up with the Jaguars. This is gonna be a wild game but the Patriots complete 25 passes to their TE duo and upset the Jaguars.

    Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos

    The Broncos defense against the high flying Steelers offense in an epic matchup. Bell and Brown have huge days as the Steelers complete the AFC road sweep.


    AFC Championship

    New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers

    In a matchup of two of the AFC's best it's going to be the Patriots getting back to the Super Bowl. The Patriots continue the Madden TE cheese that gives them success in the playoffs but at a cost. After the game Gronk sustains a concussion after falling on his head during a keg stand. Rumors are swirling that it was Brady who dropped him after an attempt to destroy his cell phone when Goodell came into the locker room to congratulate them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
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  3. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

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    NFC East

    Well this division is pretty interesting. BBJ and CT both coming to their favorite teams and for the first time in 3 years we have a new Giants owner. BR has successfully ran everyone out of the East now let's see what the future holds.

    Philadelphia Eagles 11-5 Black Republican

    Pretty sure Bradford already got his pink slip even though the league isn't even created. BR has dominated the East with Sanchez and Geno and now I expect him to continue that with a young rookie to groom. Good news is, he is starting a rookie qb. Bad news is, that defense is going to be nasty under him.


    Dallas Cowboys 8-8 bringbackjimmy

    Sorry bud no matter how many carries you give Elliott that defense is still going to have to play. I suggest just putting your controller down on D year one and if you need any tips on that, ask Cheez he is a professional.

    Washington Redskins 8-8 CTfromDC

    Hopefully I got this wrong and he shows his Giant killer form and sweeps BR to take the division. If you do CT then drinks are on me bud.

    New York Giants 8-8 matthew34brown

    Honesty no idea what to expect from him. No scouting report nothing. Welcome to the league bud good luck.


    Even though it is very likely the Eagles win this division every single damn year I still expect so entertainment from this group. BBJ is always good for some comedic value and I can't wait for him to land 3 90+ DTs again like he has been doing the last few cycles. CT is going to pull some upsets and MB I have a feeling is gonna add some excitement.


    NFC North

    This division is going to be fun to watch. I really like their layout and unlike the NFC East there is no clear cut favorite going in. Also this division feature another fresh face in SunofGod5 hope you enjoy your time in the league bud. Now let's look into our crystal ball on what to expect here.

    Minnesota Vikings 11-5 BigK44

    After almost 3 full cycles BK has landed on his favorite team and the timing couldn't be better. Finally getting out of BRs shadow I expect him to finally break through into the playoffs after some really close calls

    Chicago Bears 10-6 Gravity

    Another TMFL homecoming. Grav hopes to return the Bears to prominence. Bears are a little to young to get it done year 1 though but our favorite Jew will keep them competitive.

    Green Bay Packers 10-6 BrewBomber

    After a year absence from GB, Brew is back. He has a tough division but I think he will stay competitive throughout the cycle.

    Detroit Lions 4-12 SunofGod5

    Unfortunately even the son of God can't resurrect this franchise in one year. Way too many holes to fill and without Calvin it's gonna be an immediate struggle.

    This division is gonna be interesting to watch. I feel all 3 of the guys we all know can compete for the division every year and hopefully son can turn around that Detroit franchise that was filled last for a reason.

    NFC South

    Three guys, a girl (Cheez), and a user that is gonna dominate the division, that is going to be the story of the NFC South. Got these 3 asshole in my division again and I'm going to have to keep my dab hand strong. Here is the crystal ball outlook here.

    Carolina Panthers 12-4 publik drunk

    Funny my favorite team's motto is keep pounding, because that's what I'm going to be doing in the second half of division games.... pounding beers with the lead.

    Tampa Bay 10-6 hskr8128

    Well bud you finally get to start a cycle with your boy Lavonte David, but just like last year... you are not winning this division .

    Atlanta Falcons 9-7 Cgreen214

    I expect him to shove Julio down my throat after all the nightmares Patton gave him a year ago, but the good news? If he starts winning games against me I will just go AP because he can't beat my cpu teams .

    New Orleans Saints 1-15 Cheez

    Really wanted to go 0-16 here but I think he is gonna sneak out a W against Prudent thanks to Savage Garden. Let's all Crack a beer here in celebration of drew Brees playing 4 more seasons and refusing to retire like Brady did to him two cycles ago. One thing for sure as long as he is in New Orleans the only thing that will be celebrated in February is Mardi Gras.

    This will be my 3rd cycle in a division with each of these 3 clowns and while we do talk alot of shit to each other, we all get along really well. This will be a fun and competitive cycle and look forward to it fellas. In closing you can all Eat a Dick.

    NFC West

    This is an interesting division. Jwaddy has shown the ability to compete, G will do the Hawks nicely, and KOC is always a threat no matter what team he is. Would like to welcome seranrap to the league, you have high expectations after all the success the Cardinals had last cycle . Now time for some predictions.

    Arizona Cardinals 13-3 seranrap7

    No pressure bud . Honestly don't know alot about your game but that team is nice and you seem like a cool dude so far.

    Seattle Seahawks 11-5 GMONEY 15

    As if your pass defense was legit enough before, you get the LOB. Glad you are back bud can't wait to test out that new connection.

    San Francisco 49ers 7-9 Kidofcrash23

    Welcome back to the league man. I know you will turn this team around just don't think it is gonna be year 1.

    Los Angeles Rams 7-9 jwaddy

    Rookie qb struggles and a tough division gonna make for a long first year. Btw typing the Los Angeles still feels really fucking weird.

    I expect this division to be really competitive and quite interesting. G has upgraded from dial up so let's see if his defense was good or it was just his connection . I think this division will send all 4 teams to the playoffs though.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
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  4. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

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    NFC Wildcard

    Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Philadelphia Eagles

    Tampa edges into the WC on tiebreakers and goes up against the TMFL powerhouse Eagles. In a classic playoff game Philadelphia wins in dramatic fashion as husker loses focus do to Cheez texting him with Bachelorette spoilers.

    Seattle Seahawks at Minnesota Vikings

    In a playoff rematch from a year ago Bigk decides to keep his on the bench this time and apparently wins the game by one after going for two in the last minute. But the winning two point conversion is overturned after video review and Seattle wins in Minnesota again.


    NFC Divisional

    Philadelphia Eagles at Carolina Panthers

    After a long build up these two rival tmfl owners are slated to meet in the playoffs again but the Panthers end up winning by forfeit after Black Republican loses track of time playing Pokémon Go and misses the game.

    Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals

    Carson Palmer throws 5 interceptions before ever making it out of the tunnel and once again the he chokes away the Cardinals chances in the playoffs.


    NFC Championship

    Seattle Seahawks at Carolina Panthers

    I decide to pre drink for this one... because why not. In the end the Seahawks win 77-3 and Cam ends up in free agency to fulfill all of your dumb ass prophecies .
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
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  5. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

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    Super Bowl

    New England Patriots vs Seattle Seahawks

    A flashback from two years ago. The game is super competitive all the way through and this time is the Patriots are on the 1 yard line with a chance to win the game. They punch it in with their big FB to win the game but he takes off his helmet to celebrate and it's Gronk, who was ruled out due to a concussion. Through all the confusion Goodell claims himself TMFL Season 1 champion and the Madden file breaks and we have to restart.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
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  6. publik drunk

    publik drunk King of the East

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    All for now, UTI's are a possibility before the start of the season.
     
  7. hskr8128

    hskr8128 Walk On

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    Oh man too many quotable lines in this :hilarious::hilarious::hilarious:

    To bad the Panthers our gonna be the biggest dissapointment in the league. At least you will beat Cheez though
     
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  8. BigK44

    BigK44 Walk On

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    These are great man!
     
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  9. Black Republican

    Black Republican TMFL Commish -- **ISYMFS** --

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    Classic shit .. Pokémon huh ... LOL
     
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