High and Inside - Episode 2 - Yokohama BayStars

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  1. Sharkman37

    Sharkman37 Walk On

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    High and Inside:


    with Bob Frapples

    Episode 2 - Yokohama BayStars

    “Welcome back there sportsfans for another edition of High and Inside. I am your superfluous host, Bob Frapples. As you know, this show is a no holds bar look into the GM-ship of our sports teams in the Dugout and the Nippon League. It gives YOU, the FANS, an inside look at the inner-workings of a professional baseball club. We have been able to get exclusive access with our deal with Dugout Baseball Inc. so you can find out what makes these GM’s tick. So without further ado, let get this party started.”

    “This GM up is a man who took over his team in the Nippon league a few years back and has developed them into a powerhouse. How does he do it on a shoe string budget? What are his secrets? How did he get his unique nickname? We will do our best to get you all these answers. Remember, all of our guests appear on the Subway Fresh Take hotline, whether in person or over the phone. Subway… eat fresh…”

    “So without further ado, please welcome the man that has less range then a daisy air rifle, the GM of the Yoko Ono Bay Bears" Tyler Rogoff.”

    (Tyler ambles out from behind the stage and sits down on the guest couch.)
    Bob - "Welcome Tyler!”
    Tyler - "It's Yo-ko-ha-ma Bay-Stars Bob…. What are you, some ESPN journalist who doesn't do research?"
    Bob – “ESPN? Naw I quit there so I can be an independent. I am my own boss.
    Tyler(mumbles) Boss of what??”

    Bob – (doesn’t notice) "I’ve got to ask? What the hell is a Baystar? Is that the thing Luke blew up in the first Star Wars?"
    Tyler - "I wish. Yokohama DeathStars sounds far more intimidating. By my knowledge, we're the BayStars because we're by the coast. We also have the worst logo/mascot combo in sports. I mean, really? A smiling shooting star and our mascot is said shooting star just on the head of a human body? It's so pathetically peaceful that I think it lulls opponents into a false sense of security. This is Japan; we need some tentacles flying out of that thing or give it the ability to go Super Saiyan or something. I think I'll bring it up to the owners to change the name to the DeathStars, though. And don't forget about Lando blowing up the second Death Star."
    Bob – “I thought the guy that blew up the 2nd Death Star drank Colt 45 and invaded Cuba?”
    Tyler – “ Same guy and that is the Bay of Pigs you moron?”
    Bob – “Pigs? Did your team used to be called BayPigs??? That is so funny…”
    Tyler – “I should have never taken this interview….”

    Bob - "Moving on… So, the Nippon League started up 2 years ago. For our listeners out there, tells us a little about the league and why they should watch and buy tickets?"
    Tyler - "Growing up in America, I always attended AAA games instead of MLB games due to how much cheaper they were. Nippon games are a little bit more expensive than AAA games, but the quality on the field is better. And y'all have seen what guys like Sana and Three Fingers have done in the MLB. Who doesn't want to tell their friends that they discovered the next stud? (Hint: His name is Shoichi Hirano, the 22 year old starter for the BayStars) Plus, who doesn't want to spend thousands of dollars for a vacation just to watch AAAA baseball and eat weird Japanese food?"

    Bob - "What has been the biggest struggle for you in building a team?"
    Tyler - "Well, my owner is a cheapass who has now given me the lowest budget in the league even after I took a team to the Nippon Cup for him. We just acquired our first player making over a million a year in a trade, but we just can't compete in the open market for high-end players. There's also a rule limiting rosters to having a maximum of 2 foreign pitchers and 2 foreign batters, which can make finding quality players difficult."
    Bob - "I read a recent Life magazine article that called Mitsuoki Kurota the "King of Diamonds". What do you and your player think of that?"
    Tyler - "Kurota thinks it's hilarious since he's one of those guys who refuses to wear any bling at all. He has won our team MVP award the past 2 seasons, so instead of giving him another trophy this year, we decided to get him a diamond studded grill, which he's going to wear for a cover shoot for our first team program of the upcoming season."

    Bob - "In the little I know about the Nippon League, it sometimes feels like college in the states where players graduate. Is it hard to watch some of your good players go?"
    Tyler - "I haven't had to experience it yet. Stupid cheapass owner didn't have any guys who are even remotely close to good enough when I took over), but I've talked to some other GMs and it's depressing that they can go to the MLB and we get nothing for them. If these damn commissioners of our league and the MLB would figure out a freaking posting system so we can get some money for our players, it would be so much better."
    Bob – “It’s like they become Ronin and go play for someone else. “(rimshot in the background)
    Tyler – “Whatever Bob…”

    Bob - "what is your ultimate goal in this league? Are you wanting to one day own a MLB franchise and if so, which one interests you the most and why?"
    Tyler- "I'd love to run a MLB franchise at some point. I've had a couple of offers so far, but I'm not interested in taking over a big money team. I've made my name nickel and diming over here, so I'd probably prefer to take over either the Chicago White Sox (I've heard their GM is totally incompetent) or the Tampa Bay Rays (talk about a garbage GM). I'd also love to take over the Detroit Tigers, as I grew up within an hour of Tiger Stadium and Comerica Park."

    Bob - "I heard that a lot of people call you Roggie. Where does that come from? Is your middle name Roger and you got wedgies a lot in middle school so now everyone calls one getting a Roggie? You need to dish now yo..."
    Tyler - "Hah. It's actually a play on my last name that has been the family nickname for as long as I can remember. There's no interesting story to it, unfortunately."

    Bob - "If you could have one hitter and one pitcher, regardless of league, who would they be and why."
    Tyler - "Pitcher is either Julio Teheran or Tadayoshi Sasaki. Teheran has the track record, but Sasaki is ridiculously good and younger. Batter, give me John Ward. The dude thinks that we're still in the 1800's with that awesome mustache of his, and I can get power hitters all over the place in Japan. Contact hitters who can drive the ball into the gap are almost unheard of over here, and he's the best around at that. Prospect wise, give me "Awesome" and "Hard Hittin". Both of those guys are going to be total studs if they can keep on pace."
    Bob “Who the heck are those guys? Don’t they have real names like Joe or maybe Kiyomizu or something?”

    (long awkward pause…..)

    Bob – (clears throat and starts to sweat) "Um…. That was quite the bad beat you got in the Winston Cup finals. Have you recovered? What happened there??"
    Tyler - "It’s the Nippon Cup…. To be honest, I didn't really think we had much of a chance. Kurota was hurt with a sore shoulder (if only Toradol shots weren't illegal in the NPB...), Shimada was just coming back from injury, and our entire infield was injured. When our fifth choice for a middle infielder is starting at second base in the Nippon Cup, that's never a good sign. And having our best middle reliever go down in game 1 really tested the depth of our pen. If we had some money to sign some competent reserves, we would have had a chance..."

    Bob - "We just got a question from our Twitter account. @HighandInside, #interview. From Justinswag... A lot of people call the GM's in the Nippon League, Nippers. Does that bother you?"
    Tyler - "Racist pricks. Kidding, we look at it as a term of endearment. We know that you Yuppies over in the MLB know that we're ready to take your job when you falter. It's just a name out of fear."

    Bob - "Do you think you got what it takes to win the Piston Cup this year?"
    Tyler - "Nippon Cup dumbass. Last time I ever do an interview with some backwater journalist... But we've got a chance. Losing Shane Hill in our trade for Koryusai Yamasaki hurts our rotation, but I'm confident we'll be able to find a replacement who can post similar numbers. But with Yamasaki coming in, we finally have that heart of the order bat that we've been missing and were able to shore up our corner outfield weakness, all in one move. As long as we can get one of our higher end targets to sign with us, we'll be right there in contention again. With the smallest budget in the league, as well."
    Bob - "Well good luck next year. Hope you win the Tin Cup'
    Tyler- (under his breath) "You are a lost cause dipshit."
    Bob – (bows a Japanese bow). And that is a wrap for the this edition of High and Inside. Remember, if you want to be a guest of High and Inside, please tweet us at #HighandInside. This is Bob Frapples saying so long and help control the pet population. Keep your pets spayed or neutered. Thanks for joining us Tyler. It was illuminating to talk to one of the inaugural nipply Nippers. Sayonara.. laters…

    (fade to black as Tyler charges Bob and starts wailing on him)
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2013
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  2. PAgamer07

    PAgamer07 We're the ship without a storm

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  3. JFace907

    JFace907 Ron F'n Swanson

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    They always say the paranoid ones are the guilty ones, but i can't help but suspect the twitter handle used in the racist question includes my first name for a reason lol. I'VE ALREADY APOLOGIZED!!!! :cry::cry::cry::cry:

    In other news. Can't wait for my day in the hotseat (assuming you'll have me)!!!
     
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  4. Sharkman37

    Sharkman37 Walk On

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    actually no. For the work I do, I need test accounts and my most recent one I was using when I was writing the questions for Tyler was Justin CandidateTest
     
  5. Roggie

    Roggie Back 2 Back

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    I guess it's a good thing I didn't call out JFace like I thought of doing for that answer then. :p
     
  6. JFace907

    JFace907 Ron F'n Swanson

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    Oddly enough, i was involved in using the term "Nipper" when it was revealed as racisit slang
     
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  7. sawemoff

    sawemoff #FearTheBeard

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    How am I the only one that likes this???? This is hilarious haha
     
  8. Roggie

    Roggie Back 2 Back

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    So, who do I submit the formal paperwork to get my team name changed to the Yokohama DeathStars?
     
  9. PAgamer07

    PAgamer07 We're the ship without a storm

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    Haha. Glad someone found the humor in it :)
     
  10. CWT 3000

    CWT 3000 Walk On

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    I love these interviews.
     
  11. Brandon S.

    Brandon S. Freshmen Phenoms Commissioner

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    What do i gotta do to get in on this ?!
     
  12. Sharkman37

    Sharkman37 Walk On

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    ....Remember, if you want to be a guest of High and Inside, please tweet us at #HighandInside..... (or just PM me if you want to be on the show.)
     

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