High and Inside - Episode 3 - Kansas City Royals

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  1. Sharkman37

    Sharkman37 Walk On

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    High and Inside
    with Bob Frapples

    Episode 2 - Kansas City Royals

    “Welcome back there sportsfans for another edition of High and Inside. I am your ingenius host, Bob Frapples. As you know, this show is a no holds bar look into the GM-ship of our sports teams in the Dugout and the Nippon League. It gives YOU, the FANS, an inside look at the inner-workings of a professional baseball club. We have been able to get exclusive access with our deal with Dugout Baseball Inc. so you can find out what makes these GM’s tick. So without further ado, let get this party started.”

    “This GM up is a man who took over his team in the AL Central a few years back and just celebrated his first division win. We are going to find out how he can possibly sustain last years success, why he hasn't fired his training staff yet based on him having half of his team on the DL last year? Why other GM's call him Napolean behind his back? What are his secrets to wearing platform shoes? We will do our best to get you all these answers. Remember, all of our guests appear on the Subway Fresh Take hotline, whether in person or over the phone. Subway… eat fresh…”

    “So without further ado, please welcome the man that is so short then when he was born, his dad passed around cigar butts, the GM of the Kansas City Royals, Brandon Sams.”

    (Brandon ambles out from behind the stage standing erect with good posture and sits down on the guest couch.)
    Bob - "Welcome to the show Brandon."
    Brandon - "Thanks Bob, loving the show. Very glad to be apart of it. Thanks for having me."
    Bob - "You look a bit taller then you do on TV... and in pictures... and in instagram photos.... and in..."
    Brandon - (cuts him off) I get it.. You need glasses."
    Bob - "I actually got contacts...bi-focal ones actually.... but enough of that (clears throat)

    Bob - "So you took over a few years ago and got your first division title. First off, congrats on that. Second, our viewership, especially in the Kansas City Metropolitan area and the suburbs of Des Moines, want to know how you plan on sustaining this success?"
    Brandon - "Well we locked up Clay to a very friendly contract maxing at 12mil per year. We are working on getting Ocampo the same type of deal and Harris will be locked down for many years as well. Its risky, because players will get lazy or hurt but when you're on a tight budget its well worth the risk."

    Bob - "What is your hope for this year and how do you plan on making that a reality?"
    Brandon - "Every year we aim for that ring, our goal is and will always be World Series. Making that a reality is the hard part. When i took over the Royals, i quickly established a superior defense. Throughout these past seasons ive been exchanging offense and defense to find a good balance. I believe we have a very good balance this year and we are looking to repeat as division champs. Off the record though, i just dont want to pull a 1st to worst like that guy in Chicago."

    Bob - "You have made the point a lot in the media last year that over half of your team salary spent time on the disabled list. What off-season work did you have these guys do to avoid injuries this year?"
    Brandon - I dont think i'll ever get over the amount of money on the DL last year during our playoff push, it still amazes me how unfortunate a team can be. But we've got our guys drinking some muscle milk and doing a pushup or a sit up a few times a day so i think our DL list will be much smaller this year.

    Bob - "I listen to IHeart radio and one of the sports radio guys in Western Michigan refers to your team as "Cute", supposidly a small dig on your lower budget and reliance on minor leaguers vs the Tigers mostly having veteran guys. What message would you like to share with him if he were listening to this show?"
    Brandon - Id just like to remind him of how "cute" it was when these AAAA'ers beat his beloved Anthony Duncan 15-6 in the most important game of the year, for the AL Central title"

    Bob - "Do you think F-Mode has been feeding sport radio talk about this to get under your skin?"
    Brandon - Probably but we all take shots at eachother in the AL Central. You know how often i shit talk him for having a super budget and a team that was given to him by some guy who's name eludes me at the moment?

    Bob - "You would think that after all the prospect hoarding that the Indians and White Sox do, that they would be called "Cute" and not the Royals. "
    Brandon - "I think they would have to be winning games for them to it to be considered "Cute". Detroit only sees Kansas City and Minnesota as competition. Cleveland and Chicago just collect prospects so they can kill them or trade them to the AL East.

    Bob - "I think I will petition the Dugout for some team renames...The Cleveland 'Cute' sounds interesting ... or how about the Chicago Precious Cherubs.... I should name teams for a living!"
    Brandon - You'd have my signature for Chicago Precious Cherubs !

    Bob - "Who do you think your break-through player will be this season.?"
    Brandon - Well Scotty Clay had an off year last season. I think hes going to bounce back this season and put up the crazy numbers he used to. But if you're looking for a low key, under the radar type guy, Nathaniel Lewis was an all star last season but was injured for the 2nd half. If he can stay healthy, im excited to see what he can do for a full season.

    Bob - "Wait.. hold on (Bob is handed a telex from a staffer. Reads it for 3 seconds...) "This just in Brandon... Deadspin is reporting that while you were at the Stubenville Hard Rock last night you drunkinly called your owner a cheap tightwad who needs to release the purse-strings or you will move to the Yankees if the Steinbrenners ever kick out Briosus. How do you respond???"
    Brandon - Drunk words are sober thoughts my friend. I can only compete with the super budgets of Detroit and Minnesota for so long before they buy the division title. No matter how much i might rage about the tight budget, Mr. Trewartha has given me more and more to work with each season i've been here. Honestly, after pulling a stunt like paying Gio and Lang all that money to do absolutely nothing, I am grateful for every extra penny he gives.

    Bob - "I must say Brandon, you have a lot of stuff on your plate right as the season starts... Do you think these distractions will hurt your team on the field?"
    Brandon - Nope, I am fortunate to have a team of intelligent leaders who are always focused on getting W's. Our guys keep eachother in check. When things get a little shaky in the clubhouse, we all come together with a bonding experience of sweeping Cleveland or Chicago.

    Bob - "World Series prediction."
    Brandon - Royals win 4-2 over Milwaukee.
    Bob - "Are you mental Brandon?? I mean your team is cute and cuddly and all but the World Series? Have you been eating a lot of shrimp lately.... I mean the mercury content and all..." (Brandon slugs Bob in the eye.) "Wow, you hit like a 3-year old."
    Brandon - "Then why is your eye swelling shut....?"
    Bob - "Good point..... (long awkward pause)

    Bob - "Anything else you want our viewers to know about the Royals?"
    Brandon - " I talk a big game about winning the division and making the playoffs, but really our only goal is to finish ahead of Detroit. We pop champagne in the clubhouse every day the standings show Kansas City on top of Detroit.

    Bob - "Well that's all the time we have."
    Brandon - "Thanks for having me Bob, love the show, and maybe you'll have me again next year and we can discuss how I plan on making Detroit finish behind KC 3 years in a row!"
    Bob - "There you have it folks. (Tiny Dancer starts playing over the loud speaker) We would like to thank our diminutive guest, GM Brandon Sams of the Kansas City Lilliputin's... er the Royals. (Brandon starts chasing Bob around the stage) And that is a wrap for the this edition of High and Inside. Remember, if you want to be a guest of High and Inside, please tweet us at #HighandInside. This is Bob Frapples saying so long and help control the pet population. Keep your pets spayed or neutered. Thanks for joining us Brandon! (Bob runs off the set before Brandon can hit him again)
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2013
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  2. kdpnutter

    kdpnutter Walk On

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    Well done sir, well done.
     
  3. PAgamer07

    PAgamer07 We're the ship without a storm

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    This was a great read Shark. Very, very funny stuff.
     
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