High and Inside - Episode 4 - Pittsburgh Pirates

Discussion in 'The Dugout - OOTP Online League' started by Sharkman37, Sep 15, 2013.

  1. Sharkman37

    Sharkman37 Walk On

    Mar 20, 2012
    High and Inside
    with Bob Frapples

    Episode 4 - Pittsburgh Pirates

    “Welcome back there sportsfans for another edition of High and Inside. I am your seredipitous host, Bob Frapples. As you know, this show is a no holds bar look into the GM-ship of our sports teams in the Dugout and the Nippon League. It gives YOU, the FANS, an inside look at the inner-workings of a professional baseball club. We have been able to get exclusive access with our deal with Dugout Baseball Inc. so you can find out what makes these GM’s tick. So without further ado, let get this party started.”

    “Today is an exciting day. I solemn day. A 21 gun salate; break out the fine china and roll out the red carpet type of day. It is a day where you dress up like the Earl of Granthem for a 'Downton Abbey' dinner party type of day. A type of day where you request a Blue Angels fly by and pre-emept the Olympics 100 freestyle final for this monumentous occasion type a day... "

    Finally, it is a day you will all remember like you remember when the Berlin Wall fell; when the Beatles went on Ed Sullivan, and when Richard Hatch won the inaugral game of Survivor.

    Today dear readers, is a moment in time that will always be remembered

    “So without further ado, please welcome the man who is the Keenasaw Mountain Landis of the Dugout; the man who bitch slapped the shit out of Chuck Norris and the man, who when you forget an export, gets madder than a Keebler elf being demoted to fudge-packer, the GM of the Pittsburgh Pirates and the commish of the Dugout, Jesse Rockwell.”

    (Jesse walks on stage to the tune of "The Imperial March" from the 'Empire Strikes Back'.

    Bob - "Welcome to the show Commishioner. It is quite the honor."
    Jesse - "Thanks for having me Bob. I'm glad you finally got a worthwhile guest on the show."

    Bob - "Damn, I am so awe of having baseball royalty on the show. I almost feel under-dressed."
    Jesse - "Hahaha. As long as you are wearing pants, Im happy. I also want to say it's great having you back in the league. One question for you before we begin? What brought you back?"
    Bob - (sheepishly) "I couldn't hack it in the Mexican league and I needed the free dental plan... So you know..."

    Bob - "Your Pirates made it to the World Series last year. How did you pull it off? What was the ride like?"
    Jesse - It was a real team effort last year. Everyone contributed and we had some of the best seasons out of a lot of guys on the roster. Offensively, it was not that impressive as we ended in the middle of the pack in runs per game. We did have our first 30 HR season since taking over from William "Mad Man" Madgouran. But really, it was our pitching and defense that did it. Our rotation and bullpen were top 5 and our defense was #1 in the league. We never had any doubt that we were going to make the playoffs. Although the Brewer$$$ ran away with the division, we led the #1 Wildcard wire to wire.

    Bob - "Un huh"
    Jesse -Once we got in the playoffs, it was nerve wracking. We were lucky to get by Arizona and it took a walk-off HR to put them away. Then, we faced our arch nemesis in Milwaukee. Never did we think we would win that series as they have pretty much dominated us the last few years. Somehow, we got by them. It helped that they suffered two huge injuries early in the series.. And then San Francisco was a team built nearly identically to us. We won that one in 6 games for our first World Series appearance since 1979.

    Bob - "Uh huh... yep..."
    Jesse -The World Series was crazy. We were on the verge of a sweep and came back from 3 games down to force a game 7. The Orioles pulled out the win and although a disappointment, we felt the season was a huge success. I really mismanaged our DH spot, in fact, I forgot to set one for the series. That really hurt us and we have to wonder how we would have performed with one."

    Bob - "Do you think you can make it back to the playoffs this year?"
    Jesse - I don't know. We aren't hitting as good as we were last year (although it has warmed up), and our bullpen is having some struggles. We keep getting injuries there and our closer from last year's World Series team is now in the rotation. A risky move, but one we had to make with the advancing age of Vance Worley."

    Bob - "Being a small market can be tough. What advice can you give other small market teams to help them knock off the salary goliath's like New York and Detroit?"
    Jesse - "It's very tough.. When you look at the Brewer$$$ massive payroll, and the fact that they keep winning this division, it can be disheartening. You have to have a plan. You can't just sign a bunch of free agents and hope to win. You'll get outbid at every step. "

    Bob - "Preach it Mr. Commish... preach it!!"
    Jesse -Unfortunately it requires a rebuild. Whether that be an epic rebuild the length of the White Sox, or a shorter rebuild like we did, you have to have one. You need to get several very good players in the draft and trades, and hope like hell they develop. You also need to make sure those players are all set to make your big league squad within a couple years of each other. If you do, you won't need much free agent help. And you really have to nurture them through the minors and don't rush them.

    Bob - (obviously having a religous experience) "Pull for the shore Keensaw!! Pull for that shore!!!"
    Jesse - "You need to pay attention to your development reports and scouting of free agents to fill holes. Vance Worley was a perfect example. I got him relatively cheaply through free agency. He had excellent peripherals, no injury history, and really just underperformed in Philly. Since we aquired him, he's been our ace. On that note, you get much better performance from players by knowing what your park factors are and how they work. You can build a very good team to play well in your park just by tailoring your strengths to offset your parks weaknesses and taking advantage of your parks strengths."
    Bob - "Save me Mr Commish!!! SAVE US ALL!!!!"
    Jesse - "WTF you looney???"
    Bob - "Sorry about that... Please continue..."

    Jesse -Lastly... You need to find "gems". Guys who are completely overlooked, but yet outperform their ratings year in and year out. SP Denver Kennedy is a 1* pitchet, with little to no talent. His stats for the last 4 years: 447 IP, 28-19, 3.56 ERA.

    Bob - "To the league at large, what has been your greatest achievement as commish of the Dugout?"
    Jesse - The fact that not only have we become the largest all-GM league in the OOTP community AND are in the middle of our second version of the game and currently in our 12th season.

    Bob - "Aspirationally, if you could do a few things to make this league greater, what would it be and why?"
    Jesse - I am very disappointed in the lack of content in our league. We have some team news being written in LA and Detroit, and occasionally someone will do some content, but it's not enough. For a game that requires a minimal commitment in terms of actually playing, I would expect more.

    What would I do differently to achieve this? I would have ruled with my iron fist and implemented my Participation Point system years ago. It was very successful in the GUBA, and it would have put this league over the top.

    Bob - (Stands up and shouts) "HAIL CEASAR... HAIL!!"
    Jesse - "You are a strange little man... I digress... As for why I would so this? It's a no-brainer. More content= more activity in terms of trades, discussions, rivalries, etc."

    Bob - "This has been a quiet year so far in team news and overall trades. What do you attribute that too?"
    Jesse - "I have no idea. I can somewhat blame myself. My work and personal responsibilities throughout the summer are very demanding. I try to lead by example, but this year I was unable to.

    "But really... trades were minimal. We have A LOT of teams on the bubble and a piece or two may have pushed them over the edge: The Cubs, The White Sox, Mets, the list goes on and on."

    "And on the other hand, you have teams who are losing, and have players due to leave via free agency who could help a team now and yet they weren't moved. This should be happening a lot more in our league and it doesn't. Maybe guys are reluctant to trade prospects? I really don't know."

    Bob - "Some critics say the way you manage exports and team activity is the like the Gestapo. What would you say to those critics?"
    Jesse - Fuck them. You need structure, you need someone to make the tough decisions. Democracy is for pussies."

    Bob - "Commander... The language. We got women and children watching!"
    Jesse - "Fuck them too! Take the heat or get out of the kitchen."

    Bob - "Under that tough exterior, that has to be something that makes your heart melt? What is it? Unicorns?? Lost puppies?? an M&M frosty from Wendy's"
    Jesse - "Haha. My kids are pretty special. Spending quality time with them is a lot of fun. I enjoy watching them think, and learn as they get older. With arms wide open."

    Bob - "Where do you want this league to be in the next 5 - 10 years?"
    Jesse - "I would like the Orioles, Brewers and Astros to go on prolonged losing streaks [​IMG] No but really, I want to see more teams winning, and knock the "Evil Empires" off their pedestals. More activity across the board would be top priority obviously. I'd also like to see the NL win a World Series at some point."

    Bob - "Any overall concerns about the health of the league? Anything need an ambulance or a stint in rehab?"
    Jesse - Very much so. Although we aren't missing exports, nobody is writing anything. Nobody is trading. I am hoping as winter sets in that things increase across the board. If not, expect some changes."

    (horror movie music starts playing in the background)

    Bob - "You have seen quite the number of players in this league? Which couple have been the best ambassadors of the Dugout (feel free to riff and have fun here)
    Jesse -Ambassadors? Haha.. That's kind of funny. No one really stands out as a leader, but I guess if you want the face of The Dugout I can give you a couple guys..."

    Huck Donahue and the fact that his own GM didn't even vote for him for MVP TWICE, which subsequently cost him two MVP awards was pretty special.

    You've got any of the Detroit Tigers players, who are really the best at this game under Fmode despite not winning anything.

    Bob - (grumbling and under his breath) "because he didn't build the team.... cough cough"
    Jesse - "You also have to think of all the great players the White Sox have had and who according to their GM's "plan" are now winning elsewhere. Dan Davis is another good one... the player who has probably played for more teams than anyone in history.

    On a serious note though... when I think of great players I have to think of:
    - Julio Teheran- One of the best pitchers MLB has seen in generations.
    - Christian Yelich- What could have been with this guy without all the injuries?
    - And finally Pablo Sandoval- Holy crap has this guy been good. Since we started, he has the highest WAR of any player and shows little signs of slowing down. "

    Bob - "Does it bother you that there is a disprportionate number of 100 win teams and 100 loss teams? Isn't it part and parcel when a new manager takes over for another one that absolutly ran a team into the ground?"
    Jesse - I have no idea what that means. We do have rules in place for complete mismanagement, so I dont think that part is too bad. As for the number of 100 win and 100 loss teams? I just wish the same teams weren't always winning.. We have some "elite" GM's, a couple of "Very Good" GMs, and then the rest. I think more guys need to ask for help, but they don't. There certainly can't be this many baseball fans on TSO! [​IMG]

    Bob - "I am going to give a word or phrase and please say the first thing that comes to mind. Padre trades?"
    Jesse = "Laughable"

    Bob - " Cole's pressroom etiquette?"
    Jesse = "Truthful"

    Bob - "Fiddy.."
    Jesse = "Joke"

    Bob - "Raj's underarms?"
    Jesse = "Bald"

    Bob - "Having so many GM's from the state of Michigan?"
    Jesse = "Losers"

    Bob - "AL dominance in the World Series?"
    Jesse = "embarassing"

    Bob - "Kree Falcon"
    Jesse - "Gay ass rename"

    Bob - "Well that's all the time we have."
    Jesse = "Thanks again for having me. Some real tough questions, and hopefully one or two people read this [​IMG] Once again, welcome back to the Dugout. "

    Bob - "There you have it folks. We would like to thank our guest, the Dugout Caesar, Jesse Rockwell. Remember, if you want to be a guest of High and Inside, please tweet us at #HighandInside. This is Bob Frapples saying so long and help control the pet population. Keep your pets spayed or neutered. Thanks for joining us Jesse!

    • Like Like x 10
  2. NeuroticTruth

    NeuroticTruth dont know , dont care

    Nov 30, 2011
    Featured Threads:
    You're about to see a whole lot more if I dont start winning.
  3. BigSmooth33

    BigSmooth33 Walk On

    Jan 6, 2010

    Oh, and Jesse, for this...
    You can straight fist buddy... :mad:
    • Like Like x 4
  4. ty5oke

    ty5oke Walk On

    Apr 13, 2012
    Damn.. We've played 12 seasons of this shit..
    • Like Like x 1
  5. KnightNoles

    KnightNoles Learn to Compete

    Jul 6, 2009
    Excellent stuff again.
  6. Roggie

    Roggie Back 2 Back

    Jun 14, 2011
    Featured Threads:
    How many GMs do we have from Michigan? Damn.
  7. soxandgators

    soxandgators The Gator Nation

    Jul 16, 2010
  8. Fmode11

    Fmode11 MVP

    Jun 13, 2012
    I believe 75% of TSO members are from either Ohio or Michigan. Must be something about the terrible Midwest weather and stayin in shelter. I'm from Michigan but moved once I graduated from college.

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