HK Insider: NFC West Preview

Discussion in 'Hard Knocks' started by _MG_, Jul 25, 2012.

  1. _MG_

    _MG_ Watching Folks Swim

    Jul 21, 2010
    Featured Threads:
    The NFC version of the wild, wild west is going to be very interesting this year. We have some old HK vets ( sdid22 Emmdotfrisk biggcoug65) and a little bit of new blood in OMlawdog, who is actually a longtime member of TSO and an NCAA veteran on the Xbox side. The teams are a little less established, as only the 49ers went over .500 last season in real life. Times are tough in St. Louis, but the Rams should be much closer to their rivals in 2012 as Sam Bradford and that offense improves and they stay healthy on defense. Looking at Arizona and Seattle, both teams should challenge the 49ers and I expect one of them will rise up this year and make the playoffs alongside the 49ers.
    Time to dive into each team individually in what I like to call THE HK INSIDER ( thegman2.0 , not sure if you have copyright on that name or not :) )
    The Cardinals come into 2012 with a QB controversy on their hands. On one side of the battle is Kevin Kolb, a guy who Arizona thought highly enough of to trade a lot of pieces to Philadelphia in the off season one year ago. Things have changed since then, as Kolb underperformed and got hurt. This left the door open for John Skelton, a QB out of a 1AA Fordham who showed signs of brilliance through some growing pains in his 2nd year in the league.​
    These two guys are really evenly matched, so let me cut out the bullshit and get right to business. Neither of them are good enough. Diddy is going to work some phones and find a better QB in either free agency or through a trade as quickly as he can. He went through the growing pains of starting Kolb last release and it just did not pan out. Depending on Skelton's potential rating, I highly highly doubt he is the guy either.​
    Let me throw out some names I think could fit in Arizona:
    Mark Sanchez​
    Jason Campbell​
    Rex Grossman​
    David Garrard​
    Matt Moore​
    Chris Leak​
    Joe the baker from down the street​
    Seriously, Diddy. He has a hell of an arm and his oatmeal raisin's are pure ecstasy.
    I think Diddy might need a season or two, but we all know this team will be competitive one way or the other. Looking forward to seeing how they solve the QB situation down in the desert.​
    What can I say about Mr. Emmdot that hasn't already been said? He is probably cooler than any of us here. He is a bi-racial angel, an entrepreneur and a madden rapist. Yes, a madden rapist. Not sure what I mean by that? Ask ryty32 , who got brutally raped in madden by this man many times, including the first HK game ever played (proof). The fact that he was so much better than the rest of us so quickly criminalizes him. Madden rape in the 1st degree.​
    This guys usering skills are a thing of legend. I seriously don't even feel the need to talk about his roster, because it truely doesn't matter. The Seahawks aren't even good and I am positively sure he will beat someone by 30 or 40 points within the first 3 weeks of HK season 1 (does he play BK?). The guy can straight up ball with anyone he decides to user. So, in order to make competition more fair, I have created a list of candidates currently sitting on the Seahawks roster I think Emmdot should be forced to user on defense this release. Here we go...​
    1. LB Bobby Wagner, Rookie, Utah State
    2. CB Chris Maragos, 3rd year player out of Wisconsin (he is a white)
    3. LB Korey Toomer, Rookie, Idaho State
    4. 6-4 338lb Offensive Guard Deuce Lutui at free safety.
    The whole HK universe rejoices harmoniously as there is finally an owner in St. Louis who doesn't live in Egypt and doesn't play on an AOL connection (@zikry I love you man, you know that). This team dominated in HK last year, despite having a few flaws on their roster. Like any wide receivers at all (no, Sims-Walker doesn't count). The Rams are a capable squad with a capable new leader as Mr. OM Law Dog steps in.​
    Since I don't know you that well yet Law Dog, and I am unaware of your skill level on the sticks, I am going to extend a hand of friendship towards you by giving you probably the most important information you will ever recieve in HK. I am going to give you the blueprint on how to get into your other opponents heads in the NFC West. I hope you have a pen and paper ready, because these things might just win you the NFC West.​
    Send him multiple messages on AIM a day. Within these messages, I want you to repeat as many times as possible how much better Texas highschool football is than Florida. Make up fake statistics, show him highlight videos from clever. Do this throughout advance up until your game and he will break. Also, if he ever brings up his story about meeting Joakim Noah at a party in college, call him a liar.​
    A bit easier, all you have to do to Emmdot is dislike his videos on youtube and give his ipad app a poor review. I highly recommend you create a dummy account when doing either. If he finds out it is you...may god have mercy on your soul.​
    Perhaps the toughest nut to crack. You could go the whole Cowboys vs 49ers route, but that is too obvious. Just leave voicemails on his phone with "Jump" by Kriss Kross playing. Make sure he can hear the lyrics and recognize the song. I have some inside information that Mr. Bigg had a very traumatic experience at a friends birthday party in 1992 while this song was playing, and he goes right back to that moment whenever he hears it. Only pull this card when you feel you truely need a CPU victory, because more than likely Coug will never be seen or heard from again on TSO.​
    The 49ers have a stacked roster with loads of talent on offense and defense. They went out and addressed their need of wide receivers by signing Randy Moss and Mario Manningham, and signed Brandon Jacobs to help take some pressure off All-World back Frank Gore. Alex Smith even had a great season, which is a small miracle. The defense, led by Patrick Willis, is probably the best in the NFC. Jim Harbaugh came right in and got this team to perform last year. The fact that perhaps the best football mind in all of TSO, Mr. Big, is taking over should be terrifying to everyone in HK. This guy could very easily win multiple championships with this roster.​
    Blah Blah Blah. Which leads me to my biggest fantasy in all of Hard Knocks.​
    NFC Championship. Two madden gods play each other, in the same league, in the same division, and the game is close...real close...all hot and sweaty from playing so good both owners buckle down for the last play of the game...and its coming down to this play in the 4th quarter...4th and goal...goaline formation...offense vs defense...seattle vs san fran.....san franciscio leads by 5 ....the play call is in....qb sneak matt flynn.......his body meets patrick willis's in the hole right on the cusp of the endzone ...the players embrace in the air as willis raps his arms around flynns tightly in a beautiful tackling motion....perfect form....did he make it in.......ahhhhhhhh! its so clooooooooseeeeeeeeeeee.....​
    that, my friends, is what we grown ups like to call madden porn.

    Last edited: Jul 25, 2012
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  2. thegman2.0

    thegman2.0 Walk On

    Jan 30, 2012
    i dont own hk insider , so its yours , free more power to ya

    ps if you need my help like Knightholes did once , just pm me on tso and i help you with the insider, i got my own new thing now called sportys block
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2012
  3. SteamboatReb

    SteamboatReb Walk On

    Aug 20, 2011
    The fuck he doesn't. Be looking forna cease and desist letter MG. you have to be crafty and call it the N-Sider or some shit. Sporty keeps me on retaainer to protect all of his intellectual property.
    • Like Like x 4
  4. Diddy81

    Diddy81 Walk On

    Jul 11, 2009
    that was good stuff _MG_
  5. biggcoug65

    biggcoug65 49er for Life

    Aug 30, 2011
    Great stuff man!
  6. BobJr

    BobJr To each their own

    Jun 3, 2010
    Featured Threads:
    Great stuff MG

    The NFC West will be the division of all divisions. It is a ton of user talent in that division.

    the Division of Death might just put out 3 Playoff teams...the NFC is fucked..
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