Archived It Does Exist!! LoL

Discussion in 'Thread Archive' started by JerzeyReign, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. JerzeyReign

    JerzeyReign #BeatOhio

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    It Does Exist!! LoL

    How To Poo At Work
    And Not Get Caught

    CROP DUSTING
    When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not
    in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but does not know where it
    came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full
    fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell
    has left your pants.

    FLY BY
    The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check
    for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave andcome
    back again. Be careful not to become a ...

    FREQUENT FLYER.
    People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into
    the bathroom.

    EscapeE
    A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a
    poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of
    embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
    Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in
    The urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes to escapee. It
    is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes
    both parties feel uneasy.

    JAILBREAK
    When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This
    is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should
    , happen do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the
    bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

    COURTESY FLUSH
    The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water.
    This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the
    bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF
    SHAME.

    WALK OF SHAME
    Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just
    stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
    someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend
    that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the
    COURTESY FLUSH.

    OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
    A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often
    see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or
    magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the
    Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

    Pooing THE FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
    A group of co-workers who band together To ensure emergency pooing
    goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the
    whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poor, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

    SAFE HAVENS
    A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least
    expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite
    sex This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the
    bathroom.

    Turd Burglar
    Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to
    force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable
    moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs,
    remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will
    avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

    CAMO-COUGH
    A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you
    are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert
    potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with
    to ASTAIRE.

    ASTAIRE
    A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that
    you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall
    is occupied. If you hear of Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so
    The pooer can poo in peace.

    WATERMELON
    A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This
    is also incident on embarrassing. If you feel a Watermelon coming on,
    create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    HAVANA OMELET
    A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet
    water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using Camo-Cough with an
    Astaire.

    UNCLE TED
    A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend
    extended lengths of time in the front of the mirror or sitting on the pot
    An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you
    should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits
    you as well as the other bathroom attendees.




    I have no idea where I just found this or why I even googled it but it made me LoL *smiley face*
     
  2. bigtubb_

    bigtubb_ Walk On

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    i dont have a job so i didnt read this sh**. No pun intended
     
  3. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    a video of my son in wrestling this is his 3rd match ever he is a 51lb 5 year old. He is the one who has a shaved head and is on top here
    [YOUTUBE]hO0mFRAuXTw[/YOUTUBE]
     
  4. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    WATERMELON
    A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This
    is also incident on embarrassing. If you feel a Watermelon coming on,
    create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    HAHAHA

    ND your boy looks like he dominated that match and he needs something to cover his ears. Cauliflower ear is just disgusting.
     
  5. luvtotha9s

    luvtotha9s Walk On

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    yes...a headgear is a must
     
  6. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    Yeah i got him one but he refuses to wear it. For some reason he just wont. Yeah he did he has dominated all 3 hes been in so far.
     
  7. JerzeyReign

    JerzeyReign #BeatOhio

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    Looks like they were laughing the whole time, that's good because sports are supposed to be fun
     
  8. JerzeyReign

    JerzeyReign #BeatOhio

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    Oh and I'm glad someone realized this was just a "post random stuff" thread, lol.
     
  9. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    Yeah he is laughing every match till hes done then he comes off the mat and tells everyone he is strong lol. Glad he likes it get rid of some of that energy he has
     
  10. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    Lol yeah i kinda of figured it was. Good way to liven up the league alittle bit
     
  11. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    [​IMG]

    I caught a picture of jvig the other day riding his scooter lol
     
  12. JerzeyReign

    JerzeyReign #BeatOhio

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    LMAO!!! That thing goes 0-60 in about two years..
     
  13. JerzeyReign

    JerzeyReign #BeatOhio

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    2 years old but this kids highlight film still amazes me


    [youtube]fqSV1wnN5oQ[/youtube]
     
  14. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    Yeah but mad props to jvig for giving it a go lol
     
  15. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    [​IMG]

    Here's ND on his ride!
     
  16. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    LMAO!!!


    That #5 kid got some great footwork. His dad must coach running backs somewhere.
     
  17. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    lol you could have at least got a picture with my spinners. My rims are so fly on that ride
     
  18. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    Chris Rock

    [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zZYryyA28go&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zZYryyA28go&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]
     
  19. JerzeyReign

    JerzeyReign #BeatOhio

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    Even though I don't like Chris Rock, that was funny.
     
  20. bigtubb_

    bigtubb_ Walk On

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    Looks like im not the only one bored....lol Scooter power.....lol
     
  21. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    Yeah i am and with no ps3 right now i am even more bored. So i pick fun at jvig lol
     
  22. NDCOLTS1979

    NDCOLTS1979 I love you red solo cup

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    [youtube]4yk-ESYl7Bc[/youtube]

    This was the video i took when me and jvig hit the video game. He decided to try dance dance revolution
     
  23. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    LMAO!!! HAHA wasn't expecting the fall at the end.

    Yea I'm bored as well with PS3 still being down. It's time to uncover some videos of ND.
     
  24. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    December 2009 NDcolts excited for the successful Colts super bowl victory decides to celebrate with some fireworks.

    [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/J5Un8vMeWr0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/J5Un8vMeWr0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]
     
  25. Jvigorous1

    Jvigorous1 Hokie

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    Here's 2Bits on the escalator LOL

    [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yHBwi_CGQ-k&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yHBwi_CGQ-k&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]
     

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