JQwon Story Time

Discussion in 'The Dirty Dozen' started by JQwon13, Jan 6, 2011.

  1. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Alright guys, it's time for the next edition of JQwon Story Time. As you know, the last edition included a guest appearance from Snoopy. So this time I figured I'd give you a story with Nik making a cameo. This story takes place during Spring Break of my sophomore year of college, which I believe makes it March of 2004. At the time, Nik and I were both still 20.

    Before I can properly tell you this story, I must properly introduce the characters. Now normally I would change the names to protect identities, but none of yall know these fuckers. I had made some new friends my sophomore year. The guys that lived across the hall at my apartment complex were 2 years older and a bit ridiculous at times but managed to bring around hot women so I figured why not. Jake and Adam were the guys that lived across the hall, but they also brought along their buddies; Craig, Zach and Jared. Jared was the skinny funny guy, but the other 4 were freakin meatheads and some crazy assholes to boot. These guys constantly wanted to wrestle and beat the crap out of each other. And at one point, Jake and Craig got in a big fight which ended with a hole in the wall (bye bye security deposit) and Jake getting his ass kicked.

    Along with them came 4 girls from Oklahoma State as well as me, Nik and my cousin. Now we had rented a house right on the beach down in South Padre, just a short walk from where all the action was. Now as a rule on this trip, if you weren't sleeping, you were drinking. We literally had beers in the shower for this reason. Each night for the week, we would party all day at the beach and all night at the club and usually pass out while the sun was coming up before sleeping til noon and doing it all over again. Now I'll skip around to a few of the highlights of the trip.

    So one day at the beach after many many beers, we're hanging out and this girl starts dancing around and of course every girl huddles around her. This girl had a slammin body but kinda looked like a whore or a stripper...Turns out she was both. So I smoothly walk over as she's dancing with several guys surrounding her, i pull her close and whisper in her ear, "Hey baby, come find me later and I'll fuck the shit out of you." Yes. I actually said that. Nik can verify as I believe he was close by. But as soon as I said it, I just walked away. We go about our business and drink. As we're leaving the beach, I hear someone yelling and its this girl and her slutty looking friend. So the two of them give me, Nik, my cousin and one other guy a ride back to our house. Long story short, we all received lap dances and pictures were taken of me with a topless stripper licking her nipple. A few weeks later, my douchebag cousin showed these pics to my grandfather, uncle and father. That's why I hate my cousin.

    On to the last night of the trip. Nik decided that we should do this one up big. So he lined up some shots of tequila for us to start the night after drinking at the beach all day. That night quickly became a blur. Nik and I made drunken jackasses for the duration of our time at the club before it closed. As everyone was leaving the club, apparently some cops had told Nik and I that we needed to watch ourselves. I'm not really sure how this all went down, but apparently we responded in a less than cordial manner and may have threatened them. Luckily, my cousin conviced them that we had just gotten back from fighting in Iraq and that he would take care of us. Then we started grabbing random people to join us in the back of the truck. We pulled in two hot girls, a british girl and her boyfriend and two jamaican guys that I repeatedly asked them to say "Ya mon". We ended up back at the house, Zach and Jake had brought back two girls which they banged, only to get robbed by them. (Woke up the next morning, and they had taken $300 out of Zach's wallet).

    So as the night ended, I was in the bathroom throwing up in the toilet. I finally flopped down on the ground and passed out with my head hanging out in the hallway. The last thing I remember is seeing Jared dancing around the room with these girls wearing nothing but a Tuxedo man-thong. I also saw Nik leaned over the kitchen sink, throwing up. And that's where he passed out. He literally passed out standing up and slept on the kitchen sink that night. He also busted a blood vessel in his eye from all the puking he did that night. One of the craziest weeks of our lives.
     
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  2. hammerhead1010

    hammerhead1010 Walk On

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    HAHAHA! That was a good one right there.
     
  3. xtreme snoopy

    xtreme snoopy H4Y - Ragin' Cajuns

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    was this the 14 year old? :D
     
  4. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    To be honest man...I'm really glad I didn't close on that one. Who knows what kind of STD I would have gotten from her...
     
  6. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    That was when me and Nik went to Florida...Asshole...
     
  7. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    The 14 year old made an appearance the summer before this.
     
  8. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Well thats not this story...
     
  9. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    That's not even really worthy of a story. I was just claryifying when the 14 year old made an appearance.
     
  10. xtreme snoopy

    xtreme snoopy H4Y - Ragin' Cajuns

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    In related news she'd be legal now...
     
  11. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    Hell she should be able to drink at her next birthday!
     
  12. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Oh snap... Well maybe I'd still have her number if I hadn't gotten in the pool with my phone in my pocket
     
  13. Bl0ndeRedHead

    Bl0ndeRedHead Official TSO Pothead

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    That's a lot to read...
     
  14. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Well I guess I could have done it like a comic using penis-shaped potatoes to act it out. That prolly would have kept your attention. But I was bored at work and had time to type it out...I figured other people bored at work would have time to read it.
     
  15. Bl0ndeRedHead

    Bl0ndeRedHead Official TSO Pothead

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    I'm bored at work but using an iPhone so it's a real bitch. And I'm a lazy ass motherfucker, but we already knew this
     
  16. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    I really wish they'd get this site past my work filter. It really cuts down on the stuff I can type when I have to do it all on my iPhone at school.

    In other news, I got to call the popo because a fight broke out in my classroom today. Not much of a brawl unfortunately. Mean black chick swinging at a roided-up wrestler while he just egged her on. Still, excitement in my little land of learning.
     
  17. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    We have wrestlers in Texas?
     
  18. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    They were from Oklahoma.
     
  19. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    FMF just said he broke up a fight in his classroom involving one.
     
  20. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    Wrestling here is for the homos that want to feel manly but lack any desire to actually hit and be hit.
     

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