JQwon Story Time

Discussion in 'The Dirty Dozen' started by JQwon13, Jan 21, 2011.

  1. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    I'll keep this story rather short...hopefully.

    This was one of the drunkest nights of my life.

    I was home from college for Easter. It was Friday and I was travelling 3 hours out to East Texas with my parents the next morning to see my grandparents. So with that in mind, me and Nik decided to make the drive out to a club in Dallas along with the skeezy he was dating at the time. On the way out there, me and Nik were knocking back some rum and cokes that we had mixed. I had a couple of those on the way to the club. Once at the club, I knocked back 4 Long Island Ice Tea's.

    ...

    That's it. That's where my memory of the night's events ends. So the rest of the story, I will have to tell you from 3rd party perspective as it was relayed to me. Towards the end of the night, Nik and his girl had lost me and couldn't find me in the club. When they finally did locate me, it was in the grip of a rather large bouncer who was kindly escorting me to the door for God knows what. At first I was giong along with it, but then I apparently had a change of heart and decided I wished to stay. Unfortunately the two bouncers disagreed. There must have been some sort of scuffle and Nik could probably tell you more, but I woke up with a black eye the next day. So Nik and his girl follow me out the front door. I then did some excessive yelling at the bouncers, swearing and apparently yelling that they didn't know who i was and that i was "the baddest n this bitch." I don't know why.

    Regardless, Nik got me into the front seat of his car, with my head hanging out the window. His girl made the mistake of sitting behind me and it is very difficult to be real precise with your puke out a window when driving down the highway...Needless to say, she got sprayed. When we got back to my parents house, Nik was dragging me up the stairs when my parents came out of their room. Nik got me upstairs and then my mom tried to take over. I can't even begin to explain how angry she was the next day. She attempted to help me get my vomit covered shirt off, but my balance was already bad and I drunkenly knocked her backwards and into the bathtub. After vomiting in the toilet, and then again on my pillow, my mom put a towel down and I eventually passed out.

    The next morning despite feeling like I was halfway in the grave, my parents forced me up and into the car to drive to my grandparents. They gave me a bucket. A freaking bucket! I vomited in that the whole way. Every 30 minutes or so, my dad would pull over, emtpy the bucket and give it back to me. Upon reaching my grandparents I was still vomiting and continued to do so until 6:00 PM that day.

    Maybe Nik can help with a few extra details from this night to entertain yall.
     
  2. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    get to the interesting part
     
  3. Bl0ndeRedHead

    Bl0ndeRedHead Official TSO Pothead

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    All I read was that you were drunk and your mom tried to take off your clothes before laying down a towel for you to ejaculate upon
     
  4. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    I had enchiladas for lunch.
     
  5. Steamer43

    Steamer43 Cleveland Steamer

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    Happy Easter [​IMG]
     
  6. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    That's why I kept that story short. It wasn't overly interesting. Honestly I was just really bored at work and wanted something to write about. I guess I could have gone with the story of me losing my virginity to the overly enthusiastic chubby chick that dumped KY Gel all over me... But that seemed inappropriate...
     
  7. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    I also think I made a mistake by starting off Story time with the Austin Wedding story. None of my other stories can live up to that one...
     
  8. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    you've lived a sheltered life my friend
     
  9. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    I'm sorry. Not all of us have stories about male strippers blowing us in the parking lot of an IHOP after finishing a revue...
     
  10. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    I forget about chicks blowing me in IHOP parking lots all the time. Partly because that type of shit happened frequently and partly because I was always so tore up.
     
  11. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    Someday I'll tell you about the time I attended the Gentleman Club Expo in Vegas. The other manager I was going with dropped out so I went by myself.
     

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