Late Night Show

Discussion in 'After Midnight' started by MexiRican35, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. MexiRican35

    MexiRican35 ¿Te quieres naranjas?

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    ESPN and LSU Coach Mexi has teamed up to create a new show for our late night viewers. It's called Late Night with Coach Mexi. Mexi is going to be interviewing all of the SEC coaches from week to week through PM's. This isn't going to be like any interview that you've had before. We will hold bias and will contort any answer to however we see fit. It's all about ratings baby. Helping me in my interviews will be Mexi's sexy sidekick Nicole

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    She's dumb as fucking dirt, but her boobs, I mean boobs more than make up for it. So get ready for some tough interrogating questions that you may regret answering the morning after.
     
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  2. MexiRican35

    MexiRican35 ¿Te quieres naranjas?

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    Our first victim, er guest, will be none other than your commissioner Coach Dru50 of Georgia. Welcome to the show.

    Dru: Nice place. Ours is better.

    Mexi: Alright, well first off, how have you cleaned up the SEC? Before you became commish, the SEC was known for its recruiting violations and players getting arrested for marijuana.

    Dru: I'd like to think we've gotten back to the way things should be in the Southeast...football is king, everything else is 2nd....including grades, the law, NCAA rules, etc. I live my life in NCAA football by a simple mantra - "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying.

    Mexi: So its safe to say you have a copy of Talladega Nights at the house, right?

    Dru: Let me put it this way - "I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine....I piss excellence and no one can touch my stuff...."

    Mexi: With that being said, you have gone on the record saying you have supplied cocaine and hookers to incoming recruits. How have the police not coming knocking to your door?

    Dru: Our coaching and recruiting staff had to leave Los Angeles because there were way too many liberal whiners that had issues with our recruiting approach....something about "corruption of our youth" or other useless drivel. While packing up our homes, I got the call from Georgia. The boosters were tired of losing on the field and the recruiting front, and while I can't say that we've had the success on the field I'd like, we have cleaned up in recruiting. This season is filled with guys that we brought in and we like the look of the squad so far.

    Mexi: So basically what you are saying is, is that cocaine is easier to hide then marijuana usage and hookers in the southeast are easier to payoff than in high class LA. I just might have to go and play USC over there. So, you have been dominant in the east, but have yet to win either a conference championship or a national title. Are the fans getting restless about being so close, our are they happy with just "getting there"?

    Dru: We're never just happy with getting there and getting spanked, which is quite frankly what has happened. Coach WGW is in our head a bit, and we plan on hiring some voodoo priestesses to curse his team if we get another shot at him. And the FB who cost us the game against FSU last year by stupidly jumping at an onside kick that had travelled 2 yards is off the team and we now put guys who can actually catch on that front line, so we like our chances there. I'm confident at some point we will break through and get the conference crown.

    Nicole here: "Sooo, like, is a Bulldog like a bull and a dog that had a baby???"

    Dru: Ummmm, yeah.......how about you just stick to leaning over the desk for the rest of the interview honey? Thanks.

    Nicole: OK! :D

    Mexi: Do you think Coach Sumlin at A&M used magic to make you think he hadn't committed any recruiting violations when accusations started coming out?

    Dru: No violations of recruiting rules happened, just violations of reading comprehension and common sense. I don't issue penalties for that stuff.

    Mexi: So you believe that the coaches are about as dumb as the 2nd grade reading level recruits you pull in. Will you go to a rival in the west in Coach Sumlin for a priestesses or recruit one from Georgia? Do you think you need to play more mind games with Coach WGW, or will those not work against him?

    Dru: Unlike Coach Cheez, I hold no faith in the 'magic' at TAMU. I'm going all out with my hex - we've hired Dionne Warwick and the Home Psychic Network.

    Mexi: After beating Miami, what team are you most scared to lose to?

    Dru: I'm not really 'scared' of any of our opponents, but I will say that I'm looking forward to trying to get some revenge for our games lost to FSU and Tennessee this year, and I'm convinced at some point that Coach Bill and his Florida squad are going to make the late game plays we've lived on when we play each year.

    Mexi: Well, there you have it folks. Coach Dru cleans up the SEC by hoarding all the hookers and cocaine to himself that he has acquired from other schools over the years. Yet, he still can't get over the WGW hump, and looks to be going to Ms. Cleo on the telephone lines. Until next time, adios.
     
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  3. Cheez

    Cheez TSO's 1,000,000th Poster

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    Shows what you know, Dru50! Jayrah has been proven to be a wizard by both whygodwhy1111 and myself, and his antics shall not go unpunished. If they are not punished by you, then they will be by God!
     
  4. Jayrah

    Jayrah AllCougdUp.com Editor - A.M. avatar Guru

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    God is first-most a Coug, and second-most an Aggie. I think I'm covered :)
     
  5. Cheez

    Cheez TSO's 1,000,000th Poster

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    Maybe one of your Pagan-witchy gods.... but not the almighty God! He will smite you, heathen!
     
  6. recchem2000

    recchem2000 UCLA > WSU

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    So God is an alcoholic too? ;)

    Im going to Hell aren't I :(
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2012
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  7. Jayrah

    Jayrah AllCougdUp.com Editor - A.M. avatar Guru

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    You're thinking of Oregon...
     
  8. Cheez

    Cheez TSO's 1,000,000th Poster

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    No, because then God would be a hipster.
     
  9. recchem2000

    recchem2000 UCLA > WSU

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    And he would have a sweet Nike collection!
     
  10. Cheez

    Cheez TSO's 1,000,000th Poster

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    not ironic enough.
     
  11. recchem2000

    recchem2000 UCLA > WSU

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    [​IMG]

    Awesome!!!
     
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  12. Cheez

    Cheez TSO's 1,000,000th Poster

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    <impatiently waiting the next installment>
     
  13. Boom29

    Boom29 Walk On

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    are you the next victim guest?
     
  14. Cheez

    Cheez TSO's 1,000,000th Poster

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    not that i know of, but I'm willing to be. Anything I can do to expose Jayrah for the fraud that he is
     

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