Letter to Santa...

Discussion in '12th Man Football' started by LtJustice, Dec 24, 2012.

  1. LtJustice

    LtJustice QSF Commissioner

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2010
    Messages:
    3,373
    Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all!

    Enjoy this letter to Santa:

    Dear Santa,
    How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
    reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I
    would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
    Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
    Merry Christmas,
    Timmy Jones

    * *

    Dear Timmy,
    Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
    fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the
    time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to
    get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you
    something you can go outside and play with.
    Merry Christmas,
    Santa Claus

    * *

    Mr. Claus,
    Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract,
    set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to
    granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this
    joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at
    my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit
    trite?
    Respectfully,
    Tim Jones

    * *

    Mr. Jones,
    While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria,
    need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it
    a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action,
    well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been
    on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be
    more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I
    alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social
    skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the
    bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
    Very Truly Yours,
    S Claus

    * *

    Now look here Fat Man,
    I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was
    attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends
    into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys
    and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console,
    my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
    T-Bone

    * *

    Listen Pizza Face,
    Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on
    one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees
    you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar,
    genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your
    shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people
    that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll
    all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you
    asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in
    you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
    S Clizzy

    * *

    Dear Santa,
    Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.
    Timmy

    * *

    Timmy,
    That’s what I thought you little jerk.
    Santa
     
    • Like Like x 6
  2. cry_havoc

    cry_havoc Walk On

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,255
  3. javy0472

    javy0472 Walk On

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Messages:
    228
    CLASSIC.......REALLY GOOD READ..........LMFAO
     

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