Panther Journal Entries

Discussion in 'Thread Archive' started by whygodwhy1111, Aug 29, 2010.

  1. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Panther Journal Entries

    Dramatis Personae

    WhyGodWhy1111, Coach of the Panthers; Extremely bitter about having work at such a 3rd rate program; Plans to be on the first plane out of FIU when other schools finally show interest; Started a "private" online Journal for players so he can spy on them

    Carroll, Wesley, Idiot savant QB; Barely smart enough to tie his shoes but can play mediocre football at a collegiate level; Psychology department received a grant to study him; Repeated concussions have damaged his neural system such that he is now immune to pain; Can sometimes string words into sentences; Spent the second half of last season in a medically induced coma; Currently resembles Skeletor

    Mallary, Darrian, AKA "Pocket Rocket" Self Centered; Egotistical; Pre-Madonna; Gets angry at anything that prevents him from getting the ball; Currently failing as a rapper; Hates starting Tailback Darriet Perry; Secretly plotting to kill Wesley Carrol

    Smithy, John, Con man with fake medical degree posing as the teams doctor; Tricked the athletic director into thinking he cured the Liver cancer that is killing him; No one calls him out because he always clears players to play regardless of injury
     
  2. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Subject: WhyGodWhy1111:


    Another summer in the god forsaken shit hole. I can actually see the University of Miami from my office window; It mocks me daily. This year I'm making players participate in a mandatory private online journal so they can "get out there feelings" and we can avoid some of the on field shenanigans that occurred last year. They have all been told that it is private and no one else can see what they wrote, but I tipped the Tech guy for full access. I am hoping this invasion of privacy will supply me with some amusement in the coming season.

    New recruits are reporting to school, my god what a lowly bunch. Sadly, a few of the incoming class will actually have an effect on the season. Most notably the two Tight Ends: Groolsby and Cox. These uncoordinated ass clowns actually catch better than my third and forth WRs, so this year I have geared my offense to run out of 2 Tights as often as possible. Groolsby and Cox have apparently been best friends since they were 5. Cox requested jersey #1 and Groolsby took jersey #2. They like to match all of their onfield accessories, they make the same odd effeminate hand gestures, whenever they are addressed as "Tight End" they say "Why thank you!", and most of the coaching staff have commented to me about how "touchy feely" they are with eachother and other players on the field.

    After 6 month in a coma Carrol looks like a god damn skeleton. Sadly he is still my best option at QB. I have resorted to sending my offensive plays to our center to relay to the team. Frankly I don't even know how Carroll knows what play was called, he just seems to figure it out when the ball is snapped to him.

    Looks like I will be splitting carries between Perry and Mallary. Although, I have no idea what Mallary might do if Perry gets more carries than him.
     
  3. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4
    Week 1 Subject Position Skills
    Bye Billy Peoples P 42 KP 52 KA


    My parents thought i should join a club when I got to school to help me finally make some friends. I answered a flyer for the football club and now I get to kick a ball on a field but I haven't made any friends. They all hate me and call me "Idiot Kicker". All the players kick as good as I do, they mock me, and laugh at my 25 yard kickoffs.

    Coach says the team is required to have a punter and if I leave the team the big offensive lineman will come find me. They have me taking meaningless courses where I don't actually learn anyting. I cry myself to sleep every night, I just want to go home.
     
  4. shibdib

    shibdib In Nacho We Trust

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    Ill trade u my 70 overall punter for.. anything
     
  5. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    he is a 46 overall kicker with 42 kp.... normal players have 40
     
  6. whygodwhy1111

    whygodwhy1111 Walk On

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    FIU 48
    Arkansas 45


    Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4
    Week 2 Subject Postion notes
    Arkansas TY Hilton WR Star Player and captain


    Amazing game this week against arkansas. After trailing by 21 midway through the 3rd quarter, we won in overtime 48-45.

    In the first half, Arkansas RB Ronnie Wingo just tore our defense apart. He must have broken 15 tackles in the first half, on his way to 183 yards. Fortunately, an 80 yard run was called back for clipping. It seemed like our star MLB Aarron Davis was the only man on the field that could take wingo down. Early in the third quarter Davis took Wingo down for good via the big hit.

    Because of our non-existent run blocking, Carroll was forced to throw constantly in the second half. Which resulted in alot of yards but also 3 ints and 2 defensive Touchdowns. Down by 7 with less than 3 minutes left in the game, our defense got a key stop giving our offense the ball with 230 left and no timeouts. Carroll worked the ball down the field to Groolsby and Cox ( those guys seem like they are a little too good of friends), eventually tossing the ball up for grabs in Cox's direction. For as big and slow as Cox is he can jump and catch with the best of them. Cox out jumped the defender at the 5, caught the ball, and ran it in for the game tying TD. Unfortunately we left Arkansas with 45 seconds on the clock and 3 time outs. Arkansas drove the field and put the game winning FG off the upright.

    Arkansas threw a pick on their first play in overtime. We grinded the ball down to the 1 yard line but failed to punch it in. As the special teams where coming on to the field Coach told our Walk on punter Billy Peoples that the starting kicker Jack Griffin was hurt and he needed to get in there and kick the ball. By the time Billy found his helmet, Griffin had already kicked the game winner, and Billy had already shit his pants. Since we have taken to calling him Billy "Ace of Pants" Peoples.

    The celebration was massive. Huge win for the program.
     
  7. EnvyZero

    EnvyZero Walk On

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    The online journals is the best idea ever. hilarious
     

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