Retaliation!

Discussion in 'The Dirty Dozen' started by Full Moon Fever, Jan 4, 2011.

  1. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    KENT- In a chilling discovery, and what appears, initially, to be a gruesome retaliation for the ruthless and savage shooting of former Idaho Vandal football players, an Ohio family was found murdered early Tuesday morning. Police suspect that Jerry Collins arrived home after a night out at the club at just after midnight, where he found his wife and 17 year old daughter brutally murdered and raped. Collins' son Adam, a former mediocre linebacker at the local junior college Kent State, was fatally shot in a police standoff just days earlier. Then, police say, Jerry Collins committed suicide. Neighbors heard a single gunshot and called the police.

    When the deaf policeman showed up, he initially thought something was very strange. When he called in what he found at the Collins residence, he reported that the two murder-rape victims were found with penises next to their bodies. When the second officer arrived, however, it was found that the "penises" were in fact, potatoes.

    The spuds were puzzling to the investigators. "Seriously? Who rapes somebody with a potato?" Police suspect the attack is somehow related to the recent weekend shootings, though they have no suspects.
     
  2. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    Jesus... lol
     
  3. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    This is why a 16 year old can't join this league.
     
  4. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    I thought about people randomly stumbling over here and rewrote it. It was originally a lot more graphic.
     
  5. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    Weak
     
  6. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Hahahah, that is so awesome...I love how you worked in the deaf policeman mistaking the potatoes for penises... Although I'm a little confused about the murdered and raped part. It's not usually in that order...
     
  7. hammerhead1010

    hammerhead1010 Walk On

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    That's how they do in Idaho. Such a home field advantage because nobody wants to come there and play.
     

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