Given the lack of ability to compete in this league, Santos FC has been forced to hire a new strength and conditioning coach. The new coach will be tasked with two challenges; helping Santos players not fall over when a 5 MPH breeze comes into the stadium and helping the team finish headers. The Santos management crew evaluated all their options and the new strength coach will be Mr Barry Bonds. Bonds had a long career as a player in the US's Major League Baseball. He started his career as a skinny guy with a gerry-curl and built himself into a behemoth with an oversized head. Santos management believes that players will be able to finish more headers, if Bonds is able to show them how to enlarge the circumfrence of their head. It's science! More changes coming soon.