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The Gopher Hole

Discussion in 'The Trifecta' started by Beazus Christ, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. Beazus Christ

    Beazus Christ Resident Smut Peddler

    Jul 26, 2009
    The Gopher Hole


    HB "Catch-22" Laurence Maroney (2003-2005)


    Location: Minneapolis, MN
    Conference: Big Ten Conference
    All-Time Record: 635 - 454 - 44 (.580)
    National Titles: 6
    Conference Titles: 18
    Heisman Winners: 1
    Consensus All-Americans: 33
    Stadium: TCF Bank Stadium (50,805)
    Prestige Rating in NCAA 11: 3 Stars

    * All Stats Current Through 2009 Season


    The Golden Gophers are one of the oldest football programs in the country. Spoiled by success in an era few remember, Minnesota has largely been irrelevant in college football circles for the past 50 years. Previous coaches have settled for mediocrity or rattled off promises without deliverance. New coach Beazus hopes to learn from the mistakes made by his predecessors and produce a product that Gopher Nation and the state of Minnesota can be proud of. Coach Beazus knows it would take a miracle to dethrone perennial powerhouse Ohio State from the top of the Big Ten. Grounded in reality and fully aware of the program's limitations, he isn't interested in pipe dreams. Rather, Beazus will set his sights on reaching the second tier of the Big Ten and hopes to enjoy the success of programs like Penn State, Michigan, Iowa, and Wisconsin. Reaching this goal will not be easy but then again, nothing of value is gained without struggle.


    5 Stars
  2. Beazus Christ

    Beazus Christ Resident Smut Peddler

    Jul 26, 2009
    2010 SEASON

    Week 1

    Minnesota - 49
    Temple - 7

    The Golden Gophers kicked off the 2010 season at home facing yet another MAC team. Minnesota used its speed advantage at the skill positions to create openings for Adam Weber. Weber, the maligned senior QB, started the season off right by throwing 4 TDs. DE Anthony Jacobs mauled the RT all game long and recorded a school-record 5 sacks. Although the score was 35-0 at half, Minnesota kept its starters in the whole game to prepare for its upcoming game vs Texas in week 2.


    QB Adam Weber: 18/33 - 263 Yards - 4/0 Ratio
    HB Duane Bennett: 18 Rushes - 57 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Hayo Carpenter: 6 Receptions - 91 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair: 6 Receptions - 103 Yards - 1 TD
    DE Anthony Jacobs: 12 Tackles - 5 Sacks (School Record) - 1 FF
    DT Jewhan Edwards: 5 Tackles - 1 Sack
    CB Michael Carter: 5 Tackles - 1 Interception - 1 TD

    Week 2
    Minnesota - 17
    #2 Texas - 31

    Texas traveled North in week 2 and left the Twin Cities with a comfortable 14 point victory. The outcome of this game was never in doubt after the first quarter, as the Longhorns scored 21 unanswered points to take a 24-0 lead into the half. The Gophers were unable to match the speed of the Longhorn WRs, and Gilbert exploited this weakness for 241 yards passing on 13 of 19 attempts. On a positive note, the Gophers held RB Whittaker to just 49 yards rushing on 14 carries. Things get no easier for Minnesota next week as they travel to SoCal to face USC.

    Stats - MN

    QB Adam Weber: 10/23 - 121 Yards - 1/1 Ratio
    HB Duane Bennett: 9 Rushes - 104 Yards
    TE Eric Lair: 4 Receptions - 64 Yards - 1 TD
    DE DJ Wilhite: 4 Tackles - 1 Sack
    SS Mike Rallis: 5 Tackles - 2 Sacks
    OLB Spencer Reeves: 6 Tackles - 1 Interception

    Week 3

    Minnesota - 24
    #10 USC - 20

    Minnesota pulls off its biggest upset in recent memory, downing a top ten team on the road. For the first three quarters, the Trojan defense stifled the Gopher attack and forced QB Weber into making the types of decisions that have dogged him throughout his career. Down 20-9 with about three minutes to go, something clicked for Weber and the Gophers moved the length of the field to score their first TD of the game with 1:15 left in the game. After converting the two point attempt, Minnesota recovered the onside kick. After missing badly on two passes, Weber evaded the Trojan rush and ran to the right side of the field. Unfortunately for USC, there were no Trojans there and Weber scrambled up the field for a 50 yard gain to get the Gophers inside the 15. Rather than settle for OT, Minnesota went for broke and the gamble paid off handsomely. On yet another third down, Weber found WR Xzavian Brandon on a crossing route for the winning score. Fortunate to get the win, the Golden Gophers head back home to rest up before playing Northwestern in week 5.


    QB Adam Weber: 26/43 - 400 Yards - 2/4 Ratio
    HB Duane Bennett: 13 Rushes - 15 Yards
    WR Hayo Carpenter: 8 Receptions - 145 Yards
    WR Xzavian Brandon: 4 Receptions - 86 Yards - 1 TD
    DE Anthony Jacobs: 6 Tackles - 2 Sacks
    DT Jewhan Edwards: 5 Tackles - 1.5 Sacks
    FS Kim Royston: 6 Tackles - 1 Interception

    Week 4

    Bye Week

    Week 5 - Homecoming

    Minnesota - 56
    Northwestern - 7

    Minnesota trounced the visiting Wildcats in front of a sold-out crowd on Homecoming Saturday. QB Adam Weber, still on cloud 9 after that miraculous comeback at USC, maintained his hotstreak against Northwestern by passing for over 300 yards. Gopher fans also have to be happy with the running game, as Duane Bennett finally put together a quality effort. Defensively, the Gophers continue to play above their skill level thanks to the impressive work of DE Anthony Jacobs. Jacobs, who leads the country in sacks, added another to his total while also compiling 9 tackles. The final score in the game is somewhat misleading, as the Wildcats were able to move the ball but turned it over five times - 2 of which were in the redzone. Regardless, the Gophers have to feel good about their chances to make noise in the Big Ten after this performance.


    QB Adam Weber: 20/33 - 338 Yards - 3/0
    HB Duane Bennett: 19 Rushes - 161 Yards - 2 TDs
    TE Eric Lair: 8 Receptions - 131 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Troy Stoudermire: 5 Receptions - 114 Yards - 1 TD
    DE Anthony Jacobs: 9 Tackles - 1 Sack - 1 FF
    OLB Keanon Cooper: 7 Tackles - 1 Int

    Week 6 - Rivalry Game

    Minnesota - 42
    #22 Wisconsin - 6

    Minnesota gets over the hump and defeats those despicable Badgers in Camp Randall. Actually, defeat would be too kind of a word as Minnesota stuck a knife in the Badgers and twisted the weapon repeatedly in its enemy's wound. The offense led the way by generating big plays through the air and on the ground. Once down by 21 in the second quarter, the Badgers had to abandon the run and did not have the QB to lead a pass-first offense. Congrats to the Gophers, who hope to build off this victory and establish the program as a force in 2010.

    Stats - MN

    QB Adam Weber - 19/27 - 258 Yards - 4/2
    HB Duane Bennett - 18 Rushes - 194 Yards - 2 TDs (103 Yards Receiving - 1 TD)
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 1 Sack

    Week 7

    #21 Minnesota - 63
    Purdue - 21

    Minnesota, fresh off entering the top-25 for the first time this season, plays like a powerhouse on the road and routs conference foe Purdue. The Gophers were led by Adam Weber, who threw for over 300 yards with 4 TDs. Brandon Green, who up to this point in the season has been largely unproductive, played up to his potential in West Lafayette, catching 4 passes for 134 yards and a score. On defense, SS Kyle Theret led the way with 6 tackles and an interception. Although the Gophers have played Texas and USC already, the "tough" part of the schedule begins next week as Minnesota hosts PSU and OSU in consecutive weeks.

    Stats - MN

    QB Adam Weber - 21/39 - 326 Yards - 4/0
    HB Duane Bennett - 17 Rushes - 87 Yards
    HB DeLeon Eskridge - 7 Rushes - 38 Yards - 3 TDs
    WR Brandon Green - 4 Receptions - 134 Yards - 1 TD
    SS Kyle Theret - 6 Tackles - 1 Interception

    Week 8 - Rivalry Game

    #16 Minnesota - 21
    #4 Penn Stats - 42

    In its litmus test for Big Ten relevancy, Minnesota finds out it has a long way to go in order to challenge for supremacy. PSU ran over the Gophers all game long. HB Evan Royster used his speed to get to the outside quite often and averaged 8 yards per carry. On offense, the Gophers couldn't establish a running game and had to resort to throwing short passes before the blitz obliterated Weber. Weber, often under pressure, threw 3 interceptions against a quality pass defense. Dejected, Minnesota cannot hang its head for too long as Ohio State comes into town next week.

    Stats - MN

    QB Adam Weber - 16/29 - 199 Yards - 2/3
    HB Duane Bennett - 8 Rushes - 13 Yards
    OLB Spencer Reeves - 9 Tackles

    Week 9

    #20 Minnesota - 7
    #1 Ohio State - 23

    Top ranked OSU came into Minneapolis and walked away with the victory, but this game could have been much closer. Minnesota once again had trouble containing a superior rushing attack as Brandon Saine had his way against the Gophers. Thankfully, QB Terrelle Pryor was less than stellar and often stalled the Buckeye attack due to his erratic passes. Minnesota was able to move the ball at times but unable to reach the endzone. Kicker Eric Ellestad will be the goat for the Gophers and deservedly so, as he missed 2 field goals inside 40 yards. Rather than send him out there to underkick another 39 yard field goal, Coach Brewster sent his offense out on the field on 4th and short but was unable to convert. By my count, thats nine points lost due to a lackluster kicker. This game could have been different but the Gophers will have to live with the final score. Next week, the Gophers travel to East Lansing to face the Spartans.

    Stats - MN

    QB Adam Weber - 22/37 - 302 - 0/1
    HB Duane Bennett - 16 Rushes - 31 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair - 5 Receptions - 84 Yards
    OLB Spencer Reeves - 10 Tackles
  3. Beazus Christ

    Beazus Christ Resident Smut Peddler

    Jul 26, 2009
    Week 10

    Minnesota - 14
    Michigan State - 34

    Minnesota continues its downward spiral by losing to MSU on the road in a blowout. The big news out of this game is that QB Adam Weber is out for the year with a shoulder injury. Weber went down on the first drive of the game and this seemed to kill whatever chances the Gophers had at pulling off the win as they played uninspired ball for the remainder of the game. Weber, a senior and 4 year starter, will be sorely missed. With true freshman Tom Parish under center, the Gophers went 0/9 on 3rd downs. Conversely, the Spartans converted on 11 of 15 third down attempts while Kirk Cousins passed for over 300 yards.

    Stats - MN

    QB Tom Parish - 18/36 - 224 Yards - 1/1
    HB Duane Bennett - 12 Rushes - 22 Yards
    TE Eric Lair - 4 Receptions - 62 Yards

    Week 11

    Minnesota - 24
    Illinois - 21

    Minnesota ends its three game skid and beats cellar dweller Illinois on a last second kick. During the week, Coach Brewster contemplated taking the redshirt off the talented MarQueis Gray but decided to play for the future and keep true freshman Tom Parish at QB. Parish responded with a quality effort and did not turn the ball over - no easy feat for a kid in a hostile environment. Duane Bennett, who has rushed for less than 100 yards combined in the previous three weeks, finally put together a quality performance. As stated earlier, Eric Ellestad, the goat from the OSU game, found some redemption by kicking a 29 FG for the win as time expired to give the Gophers a much needed win.

    Stats - MN

    QB Tom Parish - 14/30 - 211 Yards - 2/0
    HB Duane Bennett - 16 Rushes - 98 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair - 5 Receptions - 41 Yards
    OLB Spencer Reeves - 7 Tackles - 1 Sack

    Week 12

    Minnesota - 56
    Navy - 0

    Following its thrilling last second victory in week 11, the Gophers kept the good vibes rolling by stomping on the Naval Academy on the road. The Midshipmen option attack was ineffective against the stacked Gopher defensive front, which played disciplined ball and prevented the big play. For the game, Navy accumulated a mere 103 yards total offense. As for the Gopher offense, the backups to the Gophers offensive stars had huge games. HB DeLeon Eskridge, filling in for the injured Duane Bennett, ran for 180 yards and 3 scores. QB Tom Parish continued to show improvement and threw for over 200 yards (but still had 2 interceptions). Great performance all-around for the Gophers who now must travel to Iowa City to face the hated Iowa Hawkeyes.

    Stats - MN

    QB Tom Parish - 13/17 - 232 Yards - 2/2
    DeLeon Eskridge - 18 Rushes - 180 Yards - 3 TDs
    TE Eric Lair - 5 Receptions - 89 Yards
    OLB Spencer Reeves - 9 Tackles - 1 Sack

    Week 13 - Rivalry Game

    Minnesota - 48
    Iowa - 0

    WHAT A GAME! The Gophers ended their regular season on cloud 9 by handing out a serious beatdown to the rival Hawkeyes in Kinnick Stadium. The Gophers benefited from uncharacteristic Iowa turnovers to throw up 28 points in the second quarter in route to the blowout win. Tom Parish threw for over 400 yards as the Hawkeye defensive backs appeared to be lost all game long. SS Mike Rallis, filling in for the injured Kyle Theret, led the defense with 5 tackles and an interception. The Gophers end the regular season in a three-way tie for third place in the Big Ten and look forward to playing in a January bowl game.

    Stats - MN

    QB Tom Parish - 24/32 - 413 Yards - 2/0
    HB DeLeon Eskridge - 10 Rushes - 51 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Hayo Carpenter - 8 Receptions - 126 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Brandon Green - 6 Receptions - 145 Yards - 1 TD
    SS Mike Rallis - 5 Tackles - 1 Interception

    Week 14 - Bye

    Week 15 - Bye

    Bowl Game - Capital One Bowl

    #20 Minnesota - 14
    #9 LSU - 17

    Minnesota gives LSU all it can handle but the Tigers pull out the narrow win in a hard fought defensive battle. Minnesota moved the ball with ease on their first possession en route to a 7-0 early lead. From here, neither team could move the ball at all for the next 3 quarters. In the fourth quarter, the talent of LSU would rise to the top, as the Tigers scored on 2 long TD passes. Down by 7, the Gophers offense would finally wake from hibernation and respond with a score to tie the game. From here, the Tigers methodically moved the ball down the field and kicked a 50 yard FG with under 10 seconds to play to escape with a narrow victory. A tough loss for the Gophers but the fans have to be happy that the team stayed competitive against one of the SECs best.

    Stats - MN

    QB Tom Parish - 15/38 - 215 Yards
    HB Duane Bennett - 15 Rushes - 31 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Hayo Carpenter - 5 Receptions - 75 Yards
    TE Eric Lair - 4 Receptions - 56 Yards
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 2 Sacks
    SS Mike Rallis - 11 Tackles - 1 FF
  4. Beazus Christ

    Beazus Christ Resident Smut Peddler

    Jul 26, 2009
    2011 Season (Season 2)

    Week 1

    Minnesota - 59
    Ball State - 7

    Fellow sports fans, dont let the score fool you. Although the Gophers clearly outclassed the lowly Cardinals, inconsistent QB play and the inability to run the ball show that the Gophers still have a long ways to go in order to challenge the upper echelon teams in the Big Ten. The MarQueis Gray era did not start off the way it was supposed to, as Gray was intercepted 3 times in the first half. Despite the turnovers, Gray did show flashes of potential, running for 72 yards on 3 carries. Gray's backup, JD Pride, played a good game but MarQueis will remain the starter for the foreseeable future. Aside from QB scrambles out of the pocket, the Gophers could not move the ball on the ground against one of the worst defenses in college football. Star HB Duane Bennett only gained 23 yards despite getting 13 carries. On defense, the Gophers held the Cardinals in check all game long and forced 3 turnovers. Minnesota gets a week off before Nebraska comes to town in week 3.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 7/15 - 130 Yards - 2/3 (72 Yards Rushing - 1 TD)
    QB JD Pride - 13/21 - 201 Yards - 2/1
    HB Duane Bennett - 13 Rushes - 23 Yards
    WR DaJon McKnight - 4 Receptions - 130 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Troy Stoudermire - 5 Receptions - 66 Yards - 1 TD
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 11 Tackles - 3 Sacks
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 7 Tackles - 1 Sack

    Week 2

    Bye Week

    Week 3

    Minnesota - 53
    #21 Nebraska - 52 (2 OT)

    Nebraska falls to the Gophers in a week 3 overtime upset. As the score indicates, this game was dominated by the offense as neither defense could do much this afternoon. While Nebraska used the run to move the ball, the Gophers gameplan revolved around passing the ball to its talented receiving corps. MarQueis Gray looked lost in week 1 against Ball State but turned it around against a tough Cornhusker defense. Gray completed 15/22 passes for 298 yards with 4 TDs. JD Pride filled in for an injured Gray in the fourth quarter and also had a great game. Due to brillant QB play, the Gophers hung tough with Nebraska all game and forced overtime. Both teams scored on their two possessions and left Coach Brewster with a tough decision. Rather than send the kicker out on the field to force a third overtime, Minnesota kept its offense out there and went for the two point conversion. QB Gray, back from the trainer's table, threw a strike to Eric Lair for the win. A great win for the program but it gets no easier for the Gophers as Minnesota must now travel to Austin to face the Longhorns.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 15/22 - 298 Yards - 4 TDs
    QB JD Pride - 5/8 - 129 Yards - 2 TDs
    HB Duane Bennett - 13 Rushes - 44 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Bryant Allen - 5 Receptions - 109 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Xzavian Brandon - 4 Receptions - 128 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Eric Lair - 3 Receptions - 60 Yards - 2 TDs

    Week 4

    #22 Minnesota - 20
    #8 Texas - 23

    One week after pulling off a major upset, the Gophers almost play spoiler to the Longhorns in front of an anxious crowd in Austin. With Minnesota leading in the fourth quarter, Texas fought back to tie the game at 20 with 2 minutes to play. Minnesota got the ball and drove to midfield before the inexperienced MarQueis Gray threw an ill advised pass that was intercepted and returned into field goal range. From here, the Longhorns ran down the clock and kicked the easy field goal for the victory. A disappointing loss for Minnesota but this team looks improved from last year and could make waves in the Big 10 this year.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 17/24 - 222 Yards - 2/2
    HB Duane Bennett - 22 Rushes - 89 Yards
    TE Eric Lair - 6 Receptions - 71 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Bryant Allen - 4 Receptions - 52 Yards
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 7 Tackles - 1 Sack
    FS Nathan Tow Arnett - 7 Tackles - 1 Sack

    Week 5

    #20 Minnesota - 45
    Ohio - 27

    In the second game of a three week road trip, Minnesota downs MAC foe Ohio 45-27. Still smarting from last week's close loss to Texas, Minnesota looked flat and played uninspired football. This poor play allowed Ohio to make this a contest for three quarters. Fortunately for the Gophers, QB MarQueis Gray was able to make some big plays in the fourth quarter to enable the Gophers to avoid the upset.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 16/27 - 193 Yards - 3/1 (129 Yards Rushing - 2 TDs)
    HB Duane Bennett - 12 Rushes - 59 Yards
    TE Eric Lair - 7 Receptions - 100 Yards
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 8 Tackles - 1 Sack

    Week 6

    #19 Minnesota - 31
    Indiana - 24

    Whew! That was close. For the second week in a row, the Gophers played poorly and allowed an inferior team to make an upset bid. Indiana and Minnesota battled back and forth all game long. After a Hooiser TD and 2 point conversion tied up the score with under 2 minutes to play, the Gophers were saved by freshman Lamonte Edwards. Edwards, filling in for the injured Duane Bennett, broke free from the Hoosier defense and ran for a 41-yard TD to put the Gophers up for good. Relieved that their road trip is over, Minnesota must now face Wisconsin and Ohio State in consecutive weeks.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 27/37 - 407 Yards - 2/1
    HB Lamonte Edwards - 13 Rushes - 97 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Bryant Allen - 9 Receptions - 180 Yards
    WR Troy Stoudermire - 6 Receptions - 95 Yards - 1 TD
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 11 Tackles - 1 Sack
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 4 Tackles - 1 Sack

    Week 7 - Rivalry Game

    #17 Minnesota - 48
    #2 Wisconsin - 17

    For the second year in a row, Minnesota defeats Wisconsin and takes home Paul Bunyan's Axe. This year's game took on added significance as the Badgers were ranked #2 and aiming for a national title. At first, all went well for Wisconsin. The Badgers moved the ball effortlessly against the Gophers and built a 17-3 lead midway through the second quarter. Minnesota seemed doomed to lose yet another game to its rival when luck intervened and a tipped pass on third and 25 was caught by WR Troy Stoudermire and took to the house for a 65 yard TD. The momentum suddenly swung in the Gopher's favor and avalanched into a blowout win for the underdog. Minnesota went on a 45-0 run to close out the game and crush any hope of a national title for the Badger faithful. Without a doubt, this ranks as one of the biggest wins in school history for the Gophers. Unfortunately, Minnesota can not afford to rest on its laurels for long, as next week it travels to Columbus to take on perennial powerhouse OSU.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 22/38 - 391 Yards - 5/1
    HB Duane Bennett - 15 Rushes - 43 Yards
    WR Bryant Allen - 7 Receptions - 123 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair - 4 Receptions - 77 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Troy Stoudermire - 3 Receptions - 100 Yards - 1 TD
    FS Nathan Tow Arnett - 7 Tackles - 1 Sack
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 10 Tackles - 4 Sacks

    Week 8

    #14 Minnesota - 20
    #8 Ohio State - 17

    Minnesota travels to Columbus and pulls off the improbable upset against OSU. The first half was largely a defensive stalemate until QB MarQueis Gray broke free for a 57 yard TD run give Minnesota a 10-0 lead. Stunned, OSU regained its composure and scored but Minnesota responded with a TD of its own to head into half with a 17-7 lead. From here, the Buckeyes slowly took control of the game and eventually pushed the game to a tie with 2 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter. Although Minnesota had failed in this same situation against Texas only a month earlier, QB MarQueis Gray would not be denied on this day. Gray converted on multiple third downs to keep the Gophers on the field and push the team into field goal range. As time ran out, K/P Dan Orseske kicked a short field goal to lift the Gophers over the Buckeyes and send shockwaves throughout the Big 10. Although MarQueis Gray earned his Player of the Game award, this upset would have never happened without an outstanding performance by the Golden Gopher defense. The Gophers forced Terrelle Pryor to throw two interceptions and held Dan Herron to 43 yards rushing on the afternoon. Feeling confident, the Gophers now head home to face Michigan State with its eye on avenging its embarrassing loss to the Spartans in 2010.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 19/29 - 201 Yards - 0/0 (95 Yards Rushing - 2 TDs)
    HB Duane Bennett - 17 Rushes - 73 Yards
    TE Eric Lair - 5 Receptions - 44 Yards
    WR Dajon McKnight - 5 Receptions - 58 Yards
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 1 Sack - 1 Interception
    DT Jewhan Edwards - 1 Sack
    CB Michael Carter - 1 Interception

    Week 9

    #12 Minnesota - 35
    Michigan State - 6

    Fresh off its upset of OSU, MN moves one step closer to that elusive Big Ten title by defeating Michigan State in front of a rabid crowd at TCF Stadium. Minnesota exacted revenge on MSU for last year's defeat by playing solid on both sides of the ball. The offense was lead by QB MarQueis Gray whose solid play of late has garnered some Heisman attention. On defense, Spencer Reeves continues to impress and against the Spartans he recovered 2 fumbles. Next week, the Gophers travel to Ann Arbor to face the Wolverines in the Battle of the Little Brown Jug.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 13/20 - 220 Yards - 3/1 (68 Yards Rushing - 1 TD)
    HB Duane Bennett - 20 Rushes - 80 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair - 3 Receptions - 81 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Troy Stoudermire - 2 Receptions - 48 Yards - 1 TD
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 6 Tackles - 1 Sack
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 4 Tackles - 2 Fumble Recoveries

    Week 10 - Rivalry Game

    #12 Minnesota - 45
    Michigan - 10

    The Golden Gophers leave Ann Arbor with the Little Brown Jug in a cakewalk over Michigan. Michigan scored the first and last points of the game - too bad the Gophers scored 45 points in between the brief moments of Michigan competence. QB MarQueis Gray continues his ascension up to the ranks of elite QBs with a dominant performance in The Big House, throwing for 269 yards and rushing for 79 yards. Duane Bennett also had a good game, running for 83 yards against an imposing Wolverine front 7. MLB Spencer Reeves also contributed to his All-American candidacy by tallying 5 tackles and an interception. Next week, the Gophers travel back to Minneapolis to face the Northwestern Wildcats.

    Stats - UM

    QB MarQueis Gray - 19/25 - 269 Yards - 3/1 (79 Yards Rushing)
    HB Duane Bennett - 21 Rushes - 83 Yards - 2 TDs
    WR Bryant Allen - 6 Receptions - 108 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair - 5 Receptions - 71 Yards
    WR DaJon McKnight - 2 Receptions - 30 Yards - 2 TDs
    DE Anthony Jacobs - 5 Tackles - 1 Sack
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 5 Tackles - 1 Interception
  5. Beazus Christ

    Beazus Christ Resident Smut Peddler

    Jul 26, 2009
    Week 11

    #10 Minnesota - 52
    Northwestern - 28

    For the first time in recent memory, the Golden Gophers have cracked the top ten in the polls. Minnesota celebrated the occasion by laying waste to Northwestern in front of a packed crowd at TCF. As the score indicates, it was up tempo game which was dominated by the offense of each team. If possible, QB MarQueis Gray played even better than he did last week en route to a huge game. He broke the will of the Wildcats by tossing for 5 TDs and over 400 yards. Northwestern QB Dan Persa was also successful, as he burned the Gophers for over 450 yards through the air. Despite Persa's performance, Northwestern turned the ball over at key points in the game and was unable to stop the Gophers air attack. Next up, the top ranked Nittany Lions come to the Twin Cities to battle the Gophers. Although Penn State has a huge talent advantage, weirder things have happened...

    Stats - UM

    QB MarQueis Gray - 20/26 - 414 Yards - 5/0
    HB Duane Bennett - 17 Rushes - 79 Yards - 1 TD
    WR Troy Stoudermire - 7 Receptions - 182 Yards - 2 TDs
    TE Eric Lair - 7 Receptions - 141 Yards - 3 TDs
    MLB Spencer Reeves - 9 Tackles - 1 Sack
    CB Michael Carter - 7 Tackles - 1 Interception
    DT Jewhan Edwards - 4 Tackles - 1 Sack - 1 Forced Fumble

    Week 12 - Rivalry Game

    #10 Minnesota - 28
    #1 Penn State - 30

    For the second time this season, the Gophers fall just short of pulling off the upset of the year, losing to the top ranked Nittany Lions by 2 points. The Gophers scored on their first possession and failed to score again until the fourth quarter. In the meantime, PSU scored 24 unanswered points and entered the final quarter with a 24-7 lead. From here, the game got interesting as the Gophers scored a couple of TDs and held the Nittany Lions to a pair of field goals. Down by 8, Minnesota recovered an onside kick with 40 seconds to play. QB MarQueis Gray moved the Gophers down the field and hooked up with WR Bryant Allen to pull within 2 points with 10 seconds in the game. On the conversion attempt, Gray was unable to hit TE Eric Lair to tie the game. On the ensuing onside kick, Minnesota recovered a kick that did not go 10 yards but appeared to be touched by a PSU player. After deliberation, the refs determined no PSU player touched the ball and awarded the ball to the Nittany Lions. Game over. Tough loss for the Gophers, who have lost to PSU and Texas by a combined total of 5 points. The Gophers must lick their wounds and head down to Iowa City to play the Hawkeyes to wrap up the regular season.

    Stats - MN

    QB MarQueis Gray - 22/36 - 291 Yards - 3/2 (58 Yards Rushing)
    HB Duane Bennett - 7 Rushes - 52 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Eric Lair - 8 Receptions - 82 Yards
    WR Bryant Allen - 6 Receptions - 92 Yards - 1 TD
    TE Tyree Eure - 2 Receptions - 55 Yards - 2 TDs
    CB Michael Carter - 10 Tackles - 1 Interception

    Week 13 - Rivalry Game

    #14 Minnesota - 54
    Iowa - 14

    Minnesota wraps up its regular season with a blowout win on the road against Iowa. The Gophers excelled on both sides of the ball. Offensively, QB MarQueis Gray delivered another solid performance. Due to the snowstorm, conditions were less than ideal for passing. As a result, Gray torched the Hawkeyes with his legs and ran for over 150 yards. His backfield mate, HB Duane Bennett, added over 100 yards in his final Big Ten game. Defensively, the Gophers shut down the Hawkeye run offense and forced them to pass the ball. Although Iowa had some success through the air, they couldn't deliver the performance necessary to upset the Gophers. With the regular season over, the Gophers will now await their postseason fate. Having secured second place in the Big Ten, Minnesota will play in the Capital One Bowl unless some upsets push the Gophers high enough in the polls to play in a BCS game.

    Stats - UM

    QB MarQueis Gray - 11/19 - 175 Yards - 1/0 (159 Yards Rushing - 2 TDs)
    HB Duane Bennett - 21 Rushes - 115 Yards - 3 TDs
    WR Bryant Allen - 3 Receptions - 50 Yards - 1 TD
    DT Jewhan Edwards - 7 Tackles - 2 Sacks
    FS Nathan Tow Arnett - 5 Tackles - 1 Interception

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