Welcome to the 1st Annual Hardies!

Discussion in 'The Dirty Dozen' started by JQwon13, Feb 22, 2011.

  1. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first annual Hardies! I'm Dick Harding and I'll be hosting tonight's festivities. Everyone is here tonight and they are dressed to impress. All of the coaches from H4Y are in attendance as are many players from the past. We've already seen the grandparents of Adam Collins as they come in memory of the former Kent State linebacker.

    Here comes former EMU receiver James Jackson, maybe we can grab an interview...Nevermind, he was too fast. He's already gone. But here's former Utah State defensive tackle John Warren. John, obviously this was a down year for the Aggies. How did you feel about this season and what do the Aggies need to do to get back on track?

    John Warren: "Well Dick, it was just a down year. Those are gonna happen. I think offensively they're gonna have to get a running game going again next season. But the main thing is for someone to step up and lead the defense. We played some solid defense in my day and I feel like we lost that somewhere along the way."

    Thanks John. I know the Aggies were definitely missing him this season. Let's see if we can get a word with the User formerly known as Centech. Idaho Coach Fever, would you mind putting down the sack of potatoes for a minute and answering a few questions?

    Fever: "Sure, but keep an eye out for Coach Redhead. That guy has a weird obsession with potato shaped penises and he keeps trying to steal my bag of potatoes.

    Coach, how do you view this season? Was it a success in your eyes?

    Fever: "You know that's tough to say. Obviously we're where we want to be, back in the H4Y championship game, but we took some tough losses this season. That loss at the end of the season against UAB was really a game we just didn't show up for. And I don't even wanna get started with the Ohidaho Feud... (Potato flys in hitting Fever in the head)

    Wait a second, here comes The Qwon. Kent State coach JQwon and winner of the Golden Potato this season by beating Idaho 45-14.

    The Qwon: "Sorry Centech, no time to chat. I've got more awards to win. (Gives Centech a big thumbs up for some reason)

    It appears they are ready to start the awards...

    The first award for Best Overall User goes to....Nikpin, coach of Western Michigan!

    (Everybody in attendance is still chatting and pays no attention the most obvious award in the Hardies)

    Well, no surprise there, but congratulations to Nikpin.The Broncos ran through CUSA play undefeated once again. This year, only Kent State kept WMU within one score as the Broncos had their way with opponents. They look forward to a conference championship followed most likely by a MNC appearance.

    They're going to go rapid fire with the first 3 awards before a brief intermission so we'll send you back to the stage for the second award.

    The second award of the Hardies is for the Biggest Surprise Team. And the winner is.... Coach Redd of Mid Tenn State!

    Another no brainer as Redd was near unanimous, garnering everyone's vote but his own. The Blue Raiders went from a program in the toilet, changing coaches every year to an impressive 8-4 this season, going 5-3 in conference play. Redd's first year with the program shows a lot of promise for the future.

    The award for most disappointing team came down to two candidates. Utah State and ULM both came up short of their team goals. In a final of 4 votes to 3, the winner is....
    Coach Steamer of Utah State!

    Not exactly an award that you want to win, but it does speak to how highly regarded Steamer is amongst the other coaches when he wins this award for a 7-5 season. I think most expect this to be just a hiccup for the Aggies.

    We will now take a brief intermission before getting to the final 7 categories. Stay tuned...
     
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  2. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    A couple of side notes...I didn't make this clear for this one, but in the future, try to refrain from voting for yourself.

    Also, I'd like to get a small acceptance speech from each winner.
     
  3. xtreme snoopy

    xtreme snoopy H4Y - Ragin' Cajuns

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    can we get a vote breakdown for each catagory? like who got the other 5 votes for dissappointing team
     
  4. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    I'll give a slight breakdown for some catergories...If someone gets multiple votes, I'll definitely add that. But who people voted for will remain confidential.
     
  5. xtreme snoopy

    xtreme snoopy H4Y - Ragin' Cajuns

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    keep it anonymous but I think it'd be interesting to see who else recieved votes
     
  6. Steamer43

    Steamer43 Cleveland Steamer

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    *Coach Steamer steps to the podium*

    Thank you, Thank you! We are extremely honored to receive this hardie. (no homo) I'm glad I've gotten Utah State to the point where fans want me fired for a 7 win season. First I'd like to thank all those that made this possible. We couldn't have won this award without the great teams of Alabama, Army, Kent State, Mid Tenn State, and UL Lafayette. You all made this possible (coach Steamer gives a big thumbs up to those repesctive coaches in attendance.) . I'd also like to give a special thanks to once again Army, and to Idaho as well. If it weren't for you two teams knocking out our starting middle linebacker and runningback, we might have never been in the running for this award. (Steamer gives CenTech 2 thumbs up) Last, but not least, I'd like to thank my QB Dennis Brewster. If it weren't for him, we would have been a lock for this award and would not be bowling this year... Although he did cost us a couple games too (laughs) . So thank you once again, and just to let you know, we will not be winning this award next year.
     
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  7. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    mmm Hardee's
     
  8. Steamer43

    Steamer43 Cleveland Steamer

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    Oh, I forgot to thank the dynasty file for not letting me practice all season.[​IMG]
     
  9. Steamer43

    Steamer43 Cleveland Steamer

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    Its called Carl's Jr. where I'm from!!!
     
  10. Bl0ndeRedHead

    Bl0ndeRedHead Official TSO Pothead

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    +1
     
  11. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    Well Nik was unanimous...D bag even voted for himself... You got the only vote for biggest surprise that Redd didn't get, lol.

    And I actually left one persons votes out on accident, i went back and added them in and Steamer actually wins most disappointing 5-3. Army, Idaho and UAB also received votes for this.
     
  12. xtreme snoopy

    xtreme snoopy H4Y - Ragin' Cajuns

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    thanks redd! [​IMG]
     
  13. CoachRedd

    CoachRedd I come through in something real foolish

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    I,Coach Redd, would like to thank everyone for making me a near unanimous choice as this years surprise user. While nothing beats winning douche user of the year, and ill be watching on closely with fingers crossed when that award is announced, this is certainly a great consolation. I told my team at the beginning of the year that we had a chance to surprise people if we prevented teams from getting four yards a pop and we also got four+ yards ourselves. Those four yards were rarely easy to come by, thus making my plan the Hard 4 Yards plan. Now that we can no longer surprise fellow h4y coaches and sneak up on them..our challenge will be to see if we can sustain the succ...oh wait....I'm being told that apparently I've run over on my time on stage. Thanks again everyone and as always *thumbs up*.
     
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  14. JQwon13

    JQwon13 Walk On

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    And we're back ladies and gentlemen! What an exciting first round of awards. Nice to see Coach Steamer accept his award with such grace and humility. We hope to have both Coach Nikpin and CoachRedd up shortly with their acceptance speeches, but the show must go on.

    The awards will not necessarily be going in order of how they were voted, rather by how close the voting was to help keep suspense until the end. So let's take it up to the stage for the next award announcement!

    The next award is for the Most Entertaining User. This award is for that user that truly helps bring entertainment to the game and the boards and consistent basis. And the award goes to...
    The Qwon, coach of Kent State.

    Wow, I must say I'm surprised to see Qwon win this. I really think it's an insult to the league to see that they find his profanity laced, immature, debauchery filled drivel that he contaminates the message board with. However, he wins this award in a landslide as he picks up all but three votes for this award. The members of H4Y should be ashamed of themselves...

    But on to more positive matters. More lucky matters to be accurate. We move on to the award for the Luckiest User. This was much more open voting as six different teams garnered at least one vote. However, three candidates stood out amongst the rest. The final candidates for this category were Coach Snoopy, Coach Qwon and Coach Redd. Let's go to the stage to see who takes home the 3-leaf clover award.

    And the winner for the Luckiest User goes to...
    Coach Redd at MTSU!

    Wow, I guess a lot of coaches weren't to thrilled about getting beat by the new coach with a team void of talent. But they'll have to get over their bitter feelings as Redd looks to be here to stay.

    The next two categories will be for the best Offensive and Defensive schemes.

    For Best Offensive Scheme, the leading candidates are... Coach Fever, HammerHead and DirtyCash.

    For Best Defensive Scheme, the leading candidates are... The Qwon, Hammerhead and DirtyCash.

    Find out who takes home the awards when we come back!
     
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  15. CoachRedd

    CoachRedd I come through in something real foolish

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    Let's keep this one short and sweet...coach Redd would like to thank Snoopy for voting him as the luckiest user. Word from the ull campus is that coach Snoopy is still salty from this years loss to MTSU. while his complaints are legit that mtsu had all the luck that day...its still better to be lucky than good..has anyone seen my waitress with my drink?
     
  16. hammerhead1010

    hammerhead1010 Walk On

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    Fuck that noise! 9-3 3rd in the CUSA. What do these boosters want?
     
  17. TheCrumbIsHere

    TheCrumbIsHere Walk On

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    11-1. You can blame me for that one vote as I was truly disappointed that the other Kentucky native didn't perform up to his previous two years standards. :)
     
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  18. CoachRedd

    CoachRedd I come through in something real foolish

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    for what?
     
  19. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    The suspense is killing me.
     
  20. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    My crystal potato says Dylan - offense, qwon - defense, though it should probably be Nik for both.
     
  21. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    I'd like to thank all of you for being so shitty at NCAA that I've lost a total of 3 games to you bitches. That is all.
     
  22. Full Moon Fever

    Full Moon Fever Champion of Standards

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    Yeah its definitely not because you have the best pitches and recruiting.
     
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  23. nikpin

    nikpin Universitas Brunensis

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    Yea those pitches must have gotten built up by all that losing I did and that talent just walked onto campus.
     
  24. Steamer43

    Steamer43 Cleveland Steamer

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    Thats cause you play in that shitty east division...
     
  25. DirtycashDylan

    DirtycashDylan I came here to scheme and chew bubblegum...

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    We'll see what you can do with Western Kentucky next year.
     

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