Why Your Division Sucks - AFC South

Discussion in 'Hard Knocks' started by G_T_G, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. G_T_G

    G_T_G BEAR DOWN

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    Why Your Division Sucks - AFC South Hard Knocks

    Indianapolis Colts

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    Owner: KnightNoles

    Why they suck:

    The Colts are actually a pretty good squad - 87 overall. They look great on paper: franchise QB, solid D, some nice offensive weapons.

    HOWEVER - knowing Knight, he will fuck all of that up by cutting most of these guys in favor of FSU burnouts to fulfill his Seminole fetish. It's real folks.. it's damn real.

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    He is especially fond of getting off on random FSU running backs (like Devonta Freeman.. who the fuck is that?) with 0 intangible ratings (lets face it, people who go to FSU are about as smart as an inanimate bucket of piss).But, hey... they can run really fast!

    Go ahead, Nick - take that outside corner with your 98 speed 97 acc 10 awareness FSU nobody, and be proud to know that deep down you really have no skill. Chuck n' duck your way to a Superbowl in the final year of the release when the only person still trying is thirdalarm.

    Jeff posts better GIFs than you do, and his GIFs fucking suck.


    Houston Texans

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    Owner: Jmustang1968

    Why they suck:

    Jmustang AKA the Mel Kiper Jr of HK. If only his stick skills were a fraction of his draft skills, then he might actually have a prayer at a championship.

    If Knight's fetish is FSU failures, then Mustang's is overrated, computer generated LBs in the draft. He'll take one every other round without batting an eye.

    Unfortunately, your madden inadequacies will not be camouflaged by that mutant Alva anymore. I can say confidently that I speak for everyone else in the league when I say I am GLAD that motherfucker is dead!!!

    Horde all the draft picks you like, nothing will save this franchise from the complete and utter disappointment that you bring to the playing field.. year after year.. release after release. That's the Jmustang way we all know and love. Super talented rosters.. one untalented guy controlling them all.

    All that being said, your team is pretty awful as well. I mean, Ryan Mallett? Really? Have fun with that. Maybe JJ Watt can play QB too?

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    If you cry and whine enough, I am sure that traitorous coward pitt4life21 will GLADLY switch teams with you, pussy.

    Jacksonville Jaguars

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    Owner: Hitmhrd72

    Why they suck:

    Hey, Blake Bortles looked pretty good last year (actually, he was fucking awful). I know you say he is no Blaine Gabbert, Hit.. but I've got news for you. With you at the helm of this team, hes pretty much guaranteed to be Blaine Gabbert.

    Dante Fowler looked good in that one practice before his ACL blew off his leg like a bottlerocket. Lucky for you, that doesn't matter in HK. And lucky for everyone else in HK, the Jaguars will still suck regardless.

    The coolest thing about this entire franchise is your owner's mustache. Even the fans know that.

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    You have a HUGE jumbo-tron in your stadium so fans don't have to actually watch the disaster that's taking place on the field. They can watch something better instead, like Jerry Springer or Cops or something.. whatever it is that the trailer trash from Jacksonville watch. WAY better than actually watching the Jags.

    But, hey, you're a nice guy and its always fun to have you in the league. Your undying fandom for this sad excuse for a franchise is to be admired - you have all of our pity.


    Tennessee Titans

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    Owner: Rhight

    Why they suck:

    Rhight is a good player, and usually has a pretty good record year in and year out. HOWEVER, EA handed him a steaming pile of feces to work with this year.. i.e. the worst team in the game. And it isn't even close.

    Looking at this picture is as close as you'll ever come to a Superbowl, my friend. Even then, the Titans still come up a few yards short:

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    72 overall? I mean... seriously? I could probably build a better team out of the free agent pool in the game. Not even kidding. You deserve to be slapped in the face for even selecting this team. You should be deeply ashamed.

    I know you used to play football in high school, Rhight. If EA created you and put you in the game, you might actually have a shot of making this team. It really is that fucking bad.

    Your ginger hair is brighter than this team's future.

    We all know you'll probably just end up moving this team elsewhere after a season or 2 when you haven't won a game and are broke as shit... when that time comes, just remember that Mexico City is reserved for controllerabuser.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2015
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  2. xxkimura

    xxkimura Walk On

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    "Your ginger hair is brighter than this team's future."

    lmao. This one seems a lot meaner then the NFC West. Early day GTG vs full day of work GTG I guess.
     
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  3. Cimmy24

    Cimmy24 Candy Ass Self

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    I always took GTG as the "quiet" Gates brother....
     
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  4. Emmdotfrisk

    Emmdotfrisk Working half days on my days off.

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    Damn this is a tough ass division. One would guess this happened on purpose... [​IMG]
     
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