Why Your Division Sucks - NFC West

Discussion in 'Hard Knocks' started by G_T_G, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. G_T_G

    G_T_G BEAR DOWN

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    Why Your Division Sucks - NFC West Hard Knocks

    St. Louis Rams

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    Owner: Zikry

    Why they suck:

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    (Translation: Your internet sucks, St. Louis sucks and Nick Foles is more worthless than Sam Bradford's knee pre-surgery. Praise be to Osiris, lord of eternity.)

    All jokes aside, you are pretty good at this game Zikry (especially when you go into cheese mode late in games you are trailing. Top notch!).

    Arizona Cardinals:

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    Owner: _MG_

    Why they suck: 0. How many playoff games MG has won in HK over MULTIPLE releases.

    The probability that changes this release - also 0.

    Only chance of success this team has is if during a sim year the invisible dice rolls randomly decide to grant MG an HK bowl appearance, only for him to choke away a lead and lose on a kick return fumble late in the game. Sound familiar?

    Closest you'll ever get to a championship is when I allowed you to be in the room with me when I won mine. If you ever need to learn how to play this game, you know where to find me, Matt. All I require is that you kneel.

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    Seattle Seahawks

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    Owner: JFace907

    Why they suck: Douchebag city. Douchebag fans. Douchebag head coach. Douchebag QB (sorry, but it's true BobJr).

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    Is Jface a douchebag too? I don't know, but that seems likely.

    This team doesn't actually suck.. they are 91 overall and coming off their second Superbowl appearance in as many years. What's that mean for HK? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Just look at how CTfromDC did with the Seahawks last release (sorry, bruh).

    At least you have the 12th man.. Maybe if they are loud enough, you won't be able to hear Phil Simms telling you that you suck.

    San Francisco 49ers

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    Owner: xxkimura

    Hey, Tim, you have plenty to look forward to! Patrick Willis is still an elite player, Chris Borland seems like a promising prospect, and Aldon Smith is sure to generate pressure for this defense.

    Actually, all of those guys hated San Francisco so much that they retired themselves early (and even DUI'd themselves out of the league in Smith's case. What a stand up guy!).

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    On the offensive side, you still have Kap. Good ol' Kap. The guy who invented his own shitty hashtag to pump up his dumb-as-rocks fanbase.. #7tormscoming.

    Yeah, a shit-7torm. It will be a hail of interceptions raining down all over that abortion of a stadium in Santa Clara (which isn't even near San Francisco... tha fuck?).

    Your team has much chance of winning a superbowl as the clown-led Tomsula squad in real life.

    P.S. Adding another half-inch to your traps won't win you any more games in HK, Tim.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2015
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  2. KnightNoles

    KnightNoles Learn to Compete

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    [​IMG]

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    and I am dead

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  3. BobJr

    BobJr To each their own

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    Oh my....
     
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  4. _MG_

    _MG_ Watching Folks Swim

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  5. Mogriffjr

    Mogriffjr Walk On

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    lol good stuff lol
     
  6. Ehmo Van

    Ehmo Van Walk On

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    Talk about some shots :)
     
  7. Kasper

    Kasper The Ghost Himself

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    That was beautiful.
     
  8. G_T_G

    G_T_G BEAR DOWN

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    That's all you got?!?
     
  9. xxkimura

    xxkimura Walk On

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    I actually worked my traps while reading this at the gym, thanks GTG
     

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